


To Save a Life I Didn’t Have

by kermit202



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alderaan is Highgarden, Alternate Universe - ASOIAF, Alternate Universe - Game of Thrones, Assassin Rey, Canon-Typical Violence, Devoted Reylo, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Falling In Love, Fire, First Kiss, Game of Thrones AU, HEA, Is Luke the kindly man?, Light Angst, Loss of Virginity, Making Out, Mentions of an eel fight club, Oral Sex, Praise Kink, Smut, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, Virgin Rey, asoiaf au, ben solo banker by day knight by night, but everyone’s okay, but not really, kind of, like angst for two seconds, she kills people
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-03
Updated: 2020-06-26
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:20:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 27,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23976634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kermit202/pseuds/kermit202
Summary: Kira of the Canals has spent her life dedicated to the order known as the faceless men. She is one of their best assassins. She obeys the orders of the many-faced god without question.That is until the god of death demands the life of Ben Solo.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 8
Kudos: 77
Collections: Reylo Hidden Gems





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This idea just popped into my head and I had to write it down ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

Braavos could be as unforgiving as ever in regard to its weather. The mornings almost always began with a fog dusting the city in its gloomy atmosphere. Sometimes the sky opened up and unleashed an unrelenting torrent of rain. And if the gods were feeling extra cruel, that rain would pierce the ground in frozen pellets. 

Occasionally—like today—the morning would begin with a peek of the sun shining shyly through the clouds.

The dawn broke with an orange and pink gradient so beautiful that Kira of the Canals just had to stop and bask in its radiance for a few precious moments before she began her day. She cracked open her window and inhaled heavily, taking in the crisp air just slightly infused with the saltiness of the sea.

Unfortunately, her morning routine was interrupted by Unkar Plutt shouting at her through the window to hurry up and help him. Kira shook the slumbering form of Tallie beside her to no avail. The girl only grumbled and rolled over, folding herself more snuggly into the covers.

Kira dressed as quietly as she could, trying to allow Tallie to sleep for an extra few minutes. She slipped her trousers and tunic on along with her cloak.

Just as she was sliding her boots on, Tallie murmured, “Kira dear, help me dress please.”

Kira was used to this tune by now. Every morning Kira would always be the first to wake, the first to dress, and the first to succumb to Tallie’s grouchy morning routine.

Wordlessly, Kira scrounged for Tallie’s clothes, helping her into them and even giving her the thicker cloak to wear, knowing that she always complained about being cold.

After both girls were decent, they made their way to the canal behind their house. Unkar was waiting along with his sons in their family boat. After Tallie scrambled in next to them, Kira untied the boat and pushed them up the water with a heavy kick. She jumped off the dock and landed with a light thud beside Tallie. 

Kira sat in the boat while it winded through the canals on route to the fishmarket. Tallie leaned her head on her shoulder as they rounded corner after corner. She peered down and noticed the dark circles under Tallie’s eyes, knowing that they were the result of Tallie sneaking out last night to climb onto the roof to meet a boy while her father was asleep. Tallie had begged her not to tell Unkar when Kira had found out about her midnight meetups. She had no trouble keeping Tallie’s secrets.

Kira knew all about keeping secrets.

By the time they made it to the fishmarket, it was crowded with people—sailors, cooks, cod sellers, clam diggers, and oyster merchants alike. The sounds of bargaining already filled the air. Unkar went from person to person, inspecting the goods they had to sell. Every so often he would deem a crate of fish as sufficient, or a basket of clams up to par. It was up to Kira and Unkar’s children to bring all the casks back to their boat. 

Unkar had a bad leg which meant he couldn’t do more than yell at them to hurry up. Kira didn’t mind. She was glad to haul crates and crates of fish to the boat, it only allowed her muscles to grow stronger and stronger. She didn’t even mind that she reeked of fish after her task was done, the smell had grown familiar to her.

Once all the fish was organized, Unkar sent Kira and Tallie on their separate ways to sell their goods. Kira pushed her barrow to Ragman’s Harbour to find the sailors that always enjoyed a clam or two.

She took her time walking along the pier, the cold winds biting through her thin cloak. _I should have asked Tallie for the thicker one._ No matter. After today, Kira was certain she never needed to bother fighting over clothes with her again.

She didn’t mind the cold too much. The cold had once been her constant companion, along with hunger. Now it just served as a reminder of a life long lost. A life of uncertainty and fear, a life where tomorrow was never a sure promise.

She shook these thoughts of a past life out of her head as she wheeled her barrow past the canal.

Those thoughts belonged to a foolish girl called Rey, whose brain had been filled with ludicrous notions of how she dreamed her life would be.

Rey was an orphan, abandoned on the streets of Braavos when she was six years old. She didn’t remember much about her parents, nor did she care to. Her earliest memories were the bone deep pain of hunger in her belly. She spent her nights sleeping on the streets and days begging by the wharfs.

While she struggled to sleep on the uneven ground, she would dream of her parents coming back to her, of rescuing her from a life of begging. But her parents never came, and her dreams turned to nightmares.

She quickly learned that to survive on the tough Braavosi streets she would need to be smart. She learned how to steal bread that the bakers would display on their shop windows without being seen. She learned how to swipe the coin purse of an unsuspecting merchant walking along the street. She learned how to fight off thugs who tried to steal what little possessions she managed to scavenge. She once cracked Teedo’s nose so hard with her staff that no one ever tried to mess with her again.

But most importantly, she learned to be invisible. Rey the orphan could slip by all manner of people, stealing all sorts of things without ever being caught. She was quick on her feet and silent as a mouse.

The only time she was ever caught was the last time.

Rey had been desperate for food. She had nothing but crumbs for three days to sustain her. She was stalking through the alleys of Silty Town trying to find a suitable target. She’d walk past an unsuspecting target, and snatch his coin purse without him being any the wiser. She spotted her target, an older man too frail looking to even be out walking in this part of town. She fell in step behind him and waited until they were passing an empty alleyway. She quickened her pace, intending to grab the purse that was sitting enticingly on his hip and break off into the alley unseen.

However, fate had other plans for her that day. As Rey’s hand was inches away from the purse, the man spun around quick as a whip and pulled her into the alley. He knocked her off her feet and held a slim dagger to her neck.

That was how she met the kindly man. The next thing she knew, she was being dragged to the House of Black and White temple on the Isle of the Gods. She was promised food and shelter for as long as she wanted, so long as she surrendered herself completely to the Many-Faced God.

That was twelve years ago. Twelve years of serving the Many-Faced God. The Many-Faced God who stripped her of her name, mouth, nose, ears, eyes, arms, and legs. They taught her how to fight, how to kill, how to lie, and most importantly how to serve the God of Death. She spent those years devoting her life to the temple by serving and collecting sacrifices to the God of Death. She rose through the ranks over those years using an arsenal of many different identities and faces. She was one of the best assassins known as the faceless men. She was completely devoted to the cause and never failed in her assignments. And slowly but surely, the dreams she used to have of her family faded away.

_No, that was some other girl. Some other girl’s dreams. Not me. I am Kira of the Canals._

“Oysters, clams, and cockles!” Kira shouted. She had made her way past the harbour to the Happy Port, her favorite brothel. Kaydel was waiting in the doorway. 

“Kira thank the gods you’re here, we’re absolutely starving! Ladies, look who’s here,” she called to the other girls.

“Oh, perfect timing,” said Rose, one of the younger women that worked here. “Do you have any more oyster’s left?” 

“Yes, and I’ve got hot sauce just the way you like it,” Kira cheerily replied. Rose let out a delighted squeal and handed over her coins to pay for the oysters. A few of the other girls had gathered round to buy what was left in her barrow.

Kira loved stopping by the Happy Port, the ladies here always treated her kindly and usually supplied some important gossip that they had acquired.

“I had to deal with that awful Canady again this morning,” Kaydel said while chewing on a prawn. “He has come in every morning this week and always asks for me personally. I’ll be the first to admit he pays very handsomely, but I really can only handle that horrible breath for so long.” The other girls giggle at this.

Kira knows that Canady has awful breath. Just like she already knows he visits the Happy Port every morning. She knows he pays handsomely because he is a merchant in the lucrative business of ship insurance. She knows he enjoys doing business inside a soup shop in the Purple Harbour for many hours a day. She also knows that he is paranoid and careful about his money, preferring to bite the coins he receives from his customers to make sure they are solid gold.

She knows this, because Moden Canady has been promised to the Many-Faced God.

“Alright ladies enough chatter, let’s get back to work,” Gwen, the madame of the brothel, shouts in her booming voice. She turns to Kira and gives her a pointed look. Knowing when she’s no longer wanted, Kira scurries out the brothel with small smiles of farewell to Kaydel and Rose.

Having sold all her goods for the day, she starts her long trek to the Purple Harbour, stopping to greet the many sailors she has built rapports with. Kira loves talking to the sailors about their travels, finding their stories of the seas fascinating.

“Kira, you’re a sight for sore eyes, it’s been a while since I’ve seen you around here,” says Poe, a sailor who Kira knows to be very popular with the women from the Happy Port. _Popular with the men too,_ her mind supplies. She’s witnessed quite a few of his shipmates visiting the brothel with him on numerous occasions. And not to mention the detailed retelling of the nights with Poe the ladies give her when she stops to sell her oysters.

“Hi Poe, any news from your travels?” 

Poe was a talker, once you started him you couldn’t shut him up. This particular trait of his was useful every once in a while when he had some detail about one of her targets.

Today though, he mostly just droned on about the wars happening in Westeros. She let him ramble on while keeping her face schooled in a pleasant smile, letting him know she was still listening. She laughed as he detailed his run in with some Tyroshi pirates and their bluebeards. 

Maybe her next assignment will take her to one of the places in Poe’s stories. She genuinely enjoyed hearing tales from all around the world. Just like she enjoyed the stories Rose would tell her about the people who visited the brothel.

However, there was nothing she enjoyed more than the time she got to spend with Ben Solo.

Never in her life had Kira been attracted to someone before—she devoted her entire life to the temple, having no time to steal kisses with boys like Tallie did, or know a man like Gwen’s girls did. She never had the interest or time to engage in anything of the sort.

That was until she caught sight of Ben Solo.

  
  


She was wearing a different face at the time, the face of Bree the beautiful courtesan, observing a sailor she was tasked to give the gift to. She was sitting on the windowsill of her little room, waiting for the sailor to walk by when she was suddenly struck by a figure across the street. He was taller than those around him, dressed in fine clothes. He had dark raven hair that curled just above his shoulders, and even from a distance she could tell he had the plumpest lips she had ever seen on a man.

She just had to get a closer look at him. Gathering some coins, she made her way across the street and into the inn he had just entered. Once inside, she busied herself with her skirts while waiting for the bar maid to serve her. She spotted the man speaking with another patron and almost dropped her jaw when he opened his mouth to speak.

“I know Hux, but I should only need the room for one week,” he said in the deepest voice she had ever heard, steering his companion to an empty table to sip their ale.

“Alright Ben, if you insist. Though I really don’t know why you’d subject yourself to a place like this,” his redheaded friend said, looking around the establishment in barely concealed disgust.

She tore her eyes off the men when the bar maid finally noticed her, ordering a drink and sneaking off to sit in a seat close to the men while still being hidden from their view. She chanced a look at the man and was unprepared for the beauty she was hit with. His face was dotted with marks more complex than the constellations that lit the night sky, framing rich hazel eyes that she swore were twinkling in the poor candlelight. Her attention was once again drawn to his mouth, wanting so badly to trace his lips with her fingertips, stroke the strong slope of his nose, run her fingers through his thick—

“Alright there love, how about an ale for this thirsty sailor!”

 _Crap._ She forgot all about the man she was supposed to be watching. The sailor she was supposed to kill. She took a long sip of her drink and forced herself to peel her eyes away from the handsome stranger named Ben and onto the sailor.

The sailor stayed at the bar for quite some time trying to sweet talk the bar maid with no luck. He finished his drink and headed up the stairs to his room. With him gone, she subtly turned her attention back to Ben, but he was gone.

That rattled her. Usually, she was aware of every slight movement that people made within a room, but she hadn’t even heard or seen him leave. Wordlessly, she stumbled back to her room across the street, thoughts full of the man with the beautiful face.

She spent the next week trying and failing to ignore Ben. It was hard to do so when the sailor she was trying to kill was living in the same inn as him.

Everyday she’d peer through her window hoping to catch a glimpse of him. She was cautious, never allowing him to catch her. She didn’t understand the draw she had to this man.

While trying to find a way to kill the sailor, she also learned things about Ben. She learned he was a merchant working for the Iron Bank. He would always give some coins to the beggars by the bloody bridge and some food to the beggars outside the inn. She liked the way his dimples looked when he smiled. She liked the way he ran his hand through his hair when he was nervous.

She could always tell when he was lying to his companion because he moved his jaw in a funny way, like he was chewing on something unpleasant. Watching his lips move made her stomach do flips.

She was sad when she had finally found a way to secretly poison the sailor’s ale and give him the gift of death. She was sad because this meant she would receive a new assignment and not be able to watch Ben anymore. This was new territory for her. She had no name to place what emotion she was feeling. She was a faceless assassin, she shouldn’t be feeling anything towards this man. In the end, she decided it was a good thing that her assignment to kill the sailor was accomplished, because she wouldn’t have to examine whatever it was that was happening to her whenever she looked at Ben. 

The next man she was assigned was Canady. She chose her faithful identity as Kira of the Canals and was sent to stay with Unkar and his children. She had used this identity a great deal of times, having developed many connections with the people of Braavos as Kira.

She was only back as Kira for one day when she saw him.

She was doing her normal route of fish selling on Ragman’s Harbour when she heard that deep voice she came to know so well. 

“I don’t know how much longer he’s going to be able to deter Nestoris, you know what they say—”

“The Iron Bank will have it’s due,” his redheaded friend, Hux, had cut him off. “Yes, yes we’ve all heard it before, spare me the lecture.”

Kira rolled her barrow closer and Ben turned to look at her, both of them locking eyes. She had spent the last few nights looking at those eyes imprinted on the back of her eyelids. Her memory did not do them justice.

He opened his mouth just slightly like he was about to say something when Hux spoke up. “Are those oysters fresh?”

She reluctantly tore her eyes away from Ben to answer. “The freshest in all of Braavos,” she said with utmost confidence.

The man just laughed and asked for two. She could feel Ben’s eyes on her so she turned to face him. “And any for you?” He jumped slightly when she addressed him, but he recovered quickly and bought two from her.

She felt a shiver run down her back when his fingers brushed hers when handing over his coins. She turned to put the coins in her barrow and walked away. She chanced one last glance at him and was surprised to find he was staring right back at her. He gave her a little smile with a hint of a dimple peeking through. She returned it, heart beating a ferocious rhythm inside her chest.

Everyday she sold her oysters, clams, and cockles under the guise of Kira, gaining information here and there about Canady. She also kept running into Ben—her traitorous heart always keeping a lookout for him. She’d introduced herself the second time they saw each other and made small talk over their exchange. She learned oysters were his favourite, so she made sure to save the best ones for him hidden in her barrow. They saw each other almost everyday and she found herself looking forward to their interactions with bated breath.

At each meeting, she told him more about her life too. Things like Tallie’s morning attitude, and Unkar’s penny pinching habits. In return he told her about his coworkers, the man called Hux who unfortunately looked like he was stuck perpetually sucking a Dornish lemon. For once in her life she wished she could be Rey again. She didn’t want to lie to Ben—Ben who always looked at her with such kind eyes. She didn’t want him to know Kira, she wanted him to know Rey.

She didn’t know what was happening to her. She had gone all her life without becoming attached to someone, but Ben was awakening something inside her...

  
  
  


Kira snapped her thoughts away from Ben and excused herself from Poe—still chatting animatedly about his travels—and hurried down to the Purple Harbour to exact her job. She wove through the crowd, searching for the storeroom she planned on changing in, when suddenly she heard a commotion.

“Hey, leave him alone,” Ben’s voice shouted at a group of older boys trying to steal something from a younger boy’s grasp. The boys scurried away, intimidated by Ben’s demeanour.

He turned to the little boy who was clutching a pigeon in his hands. “Hey, come on, you’re alright now. How about we get you some actual food to eat, hm?” he hums in question, lowering his voice to a comforting drawl.

She watches as he guides the child out of the alley, not even noticing that he almost bumps into—

“Kira!” He jumps, clutching a hand to his chest, “you startled me.”

“I’m sorry,” she says, making herself small and contrite. “I just saw what happened and wanted to make sure you were okay,” she reassures him.

“We’re good,” he says while ruffling the boy’s hair. “We were actually going to have a proper meal. You could come along if you like,” he adds quickly at the end.

She really shouldn’t. She had plans to intercept one of Canady’s customers. She shouldn’t be distracted from her task by a pair of pretty eyes.

Her mind may be telling her one thing, but her lips seem to move of their own accord. 

“I’d love to.”

*

The three of them were able to grab a meal from an inn nearby and gorged themselves on some bread and soup. Rey kept stealing glances at Ben, who was still trying his best to comfort the boy with soothing words as best as possible.

He was good at this. She wouldn’t mind being comforted by him.

_Where did that thought come from?_

She needed to get out of here while she still held _some_ control over her mind. 

After they finished eating, Ben paid for the meals and sent the boy on his way with one last ruffle of his hair. 

“That was really kind of you to help him,” Kira said, watching as Ben’s face turned pink as he waved off her praise. She had to fight back a smile at the way his emotions were so easily readable on his face. “Thank you for the meal,” she offers shyly, mentally chastising herself for turning so soft. “It was nice spending time with you, but I’ve really got to get going now.” Who knows if she’s wasted her chance of getting at Canady by now. 

His eyes widen with surprise, but he recovers quickly. “See you tomorrow at the harbour?” he returns, the corner of his mouth lifting up.

Rey’s heart gives a huge leap in her chest, almost positive that he’d heard.

_What is wrong with you? You’ve killed men before!_

“I’ll see you then.”

He gives her one last smile that just about makes her want to grab him by the shoulders and pull him into a kiss.

Instead, she flees to complete her task, already having wasted too much of her time.

 _It wasn’t that much of a waste, if it was time spent with_ _Ben,_ her traitorous mind supplies.

She quickly makes her way into a hidden storeroom to stash her barrow and change her garments, along with a change of her face.

When she emerges from the storeroom, gone are the hazel eyes and freckles of Kira, and in their place are the sad brown eyes and broken nose of the scraggly beggar named Beth.

Kira of the Canals could not be seen doing what she is about to do. Although, if done correctly, nobody will have seen her anyways.

Kira of the Canals had been watching Canady for a long time. She sold him clams on the harbour, she watched him finagle his customers, and she followed him home at night. All the while he was none the wiser of who was watching his every step.

Rey waits in the shadows until she sees her target—an old man that was known to do business with Canady. She knows he has a meeting with Canady at the soup shop soon. Rey quickly falls in line with the man, eyeing his purse. It hangs temptingly from his waistband on his right side. She picks up her pace as quietly as she can and sticks her hidden blade through the pouch, pulling one of his coins out and switching it with one of hers.

The exchange takes all of two seconds with the man completely oblivious to what has just happened. Rey scurries down the alleys and side streets, shuffling through crowds of people on her way back to the temple.

The sun is starting to set as she climbs the steps of the House of Black and White, emerging inside the temple to sit on the circular pool.

She’s not surprised when she feels the kindly man sit down next to her, calmly offering him the gold coin.

“A golden dragon,” he states. “Where did you acquire this? We are not thieves.” 

“I did not steal. I took one of his, but gave him one of ours.”

Understanding dawns on the kindly man’s face. “So with that coin and the others in his purse, he paid a certain man. And that man’s heart shortly gave out?”

Rey simply nods.

“Very well. Come, it is time for the servants to meet.” With that, she and the kindly man make their way to the chamber beneath the temple that the servants take their meetings in.

Rey takes off the face belonging to Beth the beggar and reverts to her normal face while donning her robes of black and white. She sits and waits while the other servants appear from various hidden compartments attached to the room. She lifts her hand to signal for one of the acolytes to bring her some water.

Rey thinks back to her days as an acolyte in the temple, back when she was still Rey the nobody, serving the faceless assassins in these meetings.

She used to pray her face wasn’t giving away any emotion as she listened to the servants speak of their assignments.

She remembers once when her vision was taken, yet she still flawlessly was able to serve everyone in the meeting. The kindly man had taken her aside after that meeting and given her her first assignment that night. She was to be called Mercy, a girl in a mummers troupe, tasked to give the gift to a Westerosi man. And give the gift she did.

A lot of time has passed since then and a lot more gifts of death had been given by her hand. Some harder than others, but all worth it in order for the Many-Faced God to be served well.

After a few moments, ten servants had gathered and the meeting commenced. Each servant removed their hoods to show off the face they wore today. Rey recognized some familiar faces like the lordling, the beautiful woman, the pox scarred man, and the man with the face of a plague victim, among others.

The kindly man led the meeting, offering up the names of the people who had been chosen by their god. One name was offered and the beautiful woman along with the lordling uttered, “I know this man.”

However, the man with the face of the plague victim said, “I will give this man the gift, I know him not.” And it was settled.

The meeting carried on in this way for quite some time. Names were offered, cups were filled, and gifts were promised.

Rey was just about ready to head to bed, when the kindly man gave the last name of the night that quickly made her blood run cold.

“Ben Solo.”

Rey transforms her face into stone, not allowing any emotion to pass through her—it was the earliest lesson she learned in the temple. She knew how to control the tiniest muscles in her face into submission. She could portray or hide any emotion she so chose. She was a bloody assassin, one of the best of her kind. She could lie, steal, cheat, and kill without thinking twice about it.

So why did she suddenly feel like a hot poker shot through her belly when she heard that name?

Why _him?_ Why does the God of Death want him? 

Rey had never questioned the demands of the Many-Faced God before. She took whatever name was given and gladly served her master. So why was her traitorous mind so against his wishes now?

_You know why._

Her voice spoke up before her mind could even stop her.

“I will give this man the gift, I know him not.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just straight up garbage from my garbage mind! It’s just these two fools falling in love, enjoy

Rey had only hesitated once before she had to kill a target. She had been with the faceless men for only a short amount of time. She was eager to prove herself to the temple—in whatever way possible. When the kindly man had given her the name of the person she was to give the gift to, her face had shown panic for half a second before she was able to school it into passiveness. But it wasn’t quick enough for the kindly man not to take notice.

“No one is exempt from the gift, child.” His expression had softened while he held her eyes. “Do you decide who should live and who should die? No. It is the will of Him of Many Faces.” The soft look had disappeared from his face entirely.

Rey resisted the urge to chew her bottom lip. “I’ve watched her with her children. She is a good mother. She always makes sure each one has enough food to eat even if it means she herself goes hungry.” Her eyes lit up with passion. “She showers those kids in kisses and hugs every chance she gets,” she said as exasperation coloured her voice. “Why does our god want her?” she asked timidly.

The kindly man listened to her speech with no emotion shown on his face. When he spoke, his voice was eerily calm. “Are you a god, to decide who is good and who is bad?” he asked, not giving her a chance to answer. “You are a servant, you do not choose who deserves to be killed. You simply do the will of your god.” His tone was that of finality. “Will you give this woman the gift, or have we mistaken you to be ready for such a task?”

Her eyes shot up to his, face schooled back to stone. “I am ready. I will give the gift to her. I will serve our god.” She held his eyes for a moment that could have lasted seconds or minutes, she’s not entirely sure, when he finally gave her a curt nod and sent her on her way. 

She had only been eleven and it was all too easy for her to slip into the woman’s house in the dead of night and dissolve the _tears of lys_ into the vial of wine she kept on her cluttered vanity.

The priestess at the temple known as the waif had shown her how to measure the correct amount. 

“Dissolve in wine or water, it eats at a man’s bowels and belly, and kills as a sickness of those parts,” she had explained. It was easy enough to remember. 

However, what was not so easy, was the sight Rey accidentally came to face when she was tip-toeing her escape through the woman’s house. 

Piled on top of a tiny bed was the woman, arms and legs outstretched with her children tangled about her limbs. A daughter, tucked under her left arm, face content as ever. A son, cheek squished on her left thigh drooling lightly. And on her chest, a baby snuggled right under her chin, oblivious to everything except the love of their mother. 

She stood frozen in the bedroom doorway unsure of her next move, eyes darting from each body on the bed. Oh, how she _yearned_ to climb under the sheets and allow herself to be held by this woman. Allow herself a second of peace and rest. Just a minute to see what it would feel like to be held, to feel safe.

 _To be loved._

Rey snapped out of her daydream, eyes shifting away from the family. She had a family. The House of Black and White took her in when she was nothing, giving her food and shelter. She had a place to get back to. She had to prove herself to them. 

Squaring her shoulders, she marched as quietly as she could out of the room and vaulted herself out of the window she came in through. Stealing away on light feet, she leaped from rooftop to rooftop, putting as much distance from the house as she could. She started to slow down when she saw the lights of the Black Bargemen flickering ahead of her in the distance. Her breath was coming out in shallow puffs, melting into the fog around her as she climbed on top of the inn to settle herself in a heap.

Perched on the roof of the Black Bargemen, Rey stared at the light of the moon glimmering over the fog covered water. She allowed herself a minute of trying to contain her emotions while watching the shimmering waves before the tears started to fall hot and heavy down her cheeks. 

She remembers the cold of the night biting into her shivering skin as she let everything inside of her out, the weight of her decision tonight fully hitting her. Three children now orphaned. She was responsible for giving these children the same life she was cursed with. It was too much to bear. 

_Did my mother ever hold me like that? No,_ she thought bitterly. If she ever loved Rey the way that mother loved her children, she would have never abandoned her the way she did. That thought brought along a whole new onslaught of tears that she couldn’t stop even if she tried. Rey pulled her knees up to her chest and rested her head against her legs. She let her gaze stray up to the sky, tracing the hazy ring outlining the moon with her eyes. _Rain tomorrow._ At least it will wash away the stink of the harbour for a little while. Rey wished it could wash away the guilt she was enveloped in. But deep down she knew that wish would likely not come true. Wishes were for dumb people with stupid dreams. She was no one. Wishes would not come true for no one. 

Rey sat there until the last tears were brushed from her eyes and the sorrow waned from her body. She only did what the Many-Faced God willed her to do. Sparing one last glance to the glistening water, offering a small prayer to three children, she stood. She brushed the dirt off her breeches and started her long walk back to the temple, her heart hardening under the ghostly light of the moon. 

  
  
  


That was eight long years ago, but the memory is still fresh in her mind. She had learned a lot of hard lessons in that time. Death comes for all people, it was not up to Rey to decide who deserved it. That was the decision of Him of Many Faces. The god she had given her entire life to. 

So once again, Rey found herself sitting atop the Black Bargemen’s roof in the pre dawn gloom contemplating a similar scenario. Who could have wanted Ben dead? Who had been whispering his name in the temple hoping the god of death would answer their prayers? Ben, the man who gave to the poor, fed and defended helpless children. The man who smiled so sweetly when he saw Rey rolling her barrow up to him. 

It was so much easier when the men she were tasked to kill were monsters. She could pretend she was the heroine in the fairytales she heard as a child, defeating the monster and saving a fair maiden. But sadly, life wasn’t like the fairytales. Rey knew this better than anyone. She devoted her life to the temple and she wasn’t about to turn her back on them now. She couldn’t save Ben, no matter how much her heart wanted her to. 

As the sun started to rise, she could hear people below her in the inn start to rustle. She looked up to the sky and felt the first drops of rain hit her face. _I can do it quickly._ He won’t need to suffer. A concoction of sweetsleep before bed perhaps. Three pinches in his drink and he would simply fall asleep never to wake again. It would be painless. A mercy. She is protecting him from a number of painful ways one of her brothers or sisters in the order could kill him. At least in this way, she can protect him from dying painfully. 

The titan roared to life, signaling the sunrise and the day to begin. Rey stood up on shaky legs, feeling less confident than she had in a long time. 

* 

The Purple Harbour is teeming with people by the time she reaches its shore. Countless Braavosi ships line the harbour, shouts of their sailors echoing across the way. Rey decided to forgo wheeling her fish barrow today, instead opting to keep to the shadows. The rain and clouds would help her in her quest for stealth. She wore one of her finest cloaks to blend in with the wealthy inhabitants of this part of Braavos. The Purple Harbour dealt only with Braavosi ships from the likes of local merchants and the Iron Bank. 

With her hood drawn up to protect her from the rain, nobody would be able to recognize her. Which is a good thing because against her better judgement, she did not borrow a different face for this outing. She tried not to look too deeply into her decision, afraid of what she might find. _No matter,_ she thought. Nobody was going to look upon her face anyway. She knew how to be invisible even in a storm of people. 

She spotted Ben just as he stepped onto a boat painted with laughing faces to talk with its fair haired captain. She snuck closer to them and pretended to be interested in some of the fishwives’ products being sold on the harbour. She peered up through her hood to get a better look at him. His hair was slightly damp and curling at the ends from the misty rain.

He gripped the railing of the ship as a particularly strong wave rocked against the hull, his face tinged slightly green.

_Well isn’t that a sight to see._

Ben Solo, a man built like a weirwood tree, is prone to seasickness. She cracks a secret smile into her chest.

He talked fast, moving his hands through the air to get his words across. It looked like he could be conducting a troupe of bards in playing their instruments. For a man with such large hands, they wove through the air quite delicately. She found herself almost lost in the thought of those hands on her, touching her face, gripping her hand, tracing her brow.

Rey was so caught up in her daydream that she almost didn’t see him step off the boat and start down the street. 

She spent the next few days in this same pattern. Observing him from a distance, never letting him see or hear her. He had a home just north of the Green Canal that he would emerge from every morning before the titan’s roar. He’d stick to the path of the sweetwater river all the way to the Iron Bank. Sometimes he would be in there for hours working within the bank. But most of the time he’d be out on the streets visiting all sorts of people to do business with. Occasionally he’d stop in a soup shop or ale house. He still always took the time to stop for beggars, no matter the time of day. He mostly did business in the north of Braavos, the wealthy areas close to the bank. 

Curiously, she sometimes found him making the journey to Ragman’s Harbour for seemingly no reason. He’d cross the Canal of Heroes and venture past Nabbo’s Bridge, not stopping to do any business with anyone. He’d make it to the harbour and walk the length of it, stopping from time to time to look around his surroundings. _Could he be waiting for someone?_ He’d pace along the water for some time, brow pinched and jaw moving back and forth. Sometimes he’d stop at Pynto’s for a meal before making the decision to head back north. 

The realization hit her like a ton of bricks. _Is he looking for me?_ It had been some time since they had talked to each other. What other reason was he coming this far south? It wasn’t like he had any business dealings down here. 

Could her long hardened heart beat again? It sure felt like it would. 

She had to speak to him. She needed to find out if he wanted to talk to her as much as she wanted to talk to him. It was a reckless thing to do, her brain was screaming at her to remember her training. But her heart wouldn’t hear it. It was a risk she was willing to take. 

“Ben!” She scrambled to catch up to where he was disappearing around a corner. Cheeks flushed and breath panting.

His great form turned at the sound of his name, eyes roaming the street to look for the person responsible for shouting at him.

“Kira,” he breathes, lips slightly parted as he finally sees her. 

And oh, how his voice stops her short. _Rey. My name’s Rey._ She wanted to tell him, but she knew she couldn’t.

Even though she had been watching him everyday, her breath still caught in her throat at the sight of him. It was different when he was actually looking right back at her, molten eyes burning into hers. 

“No oysters today?” he asks, taking a step towards her. The action has her reminding herself to breathe. “I’ve been having to stop by Pynto’s lately,” he continues, running a hand through his hair. “Not nearly as good as yours.” His lips lift into the ghost of a smirk. 

Rey licks her suddenly dry lips. “Unkar has been sending me to sell his goods at the fish markets down by the long canal,” she lies smoothly, bouncing on the balls of her feet. “If I knew you were torturing yourself with Pynto’s food, I would’ve ran back here as fast as I could.” She flashes him a teasing grin. 

He rewards her with a big toothy grin, dimples and all. “I may have cracked a few teeth trying to bite into his stale bread, but I think I’ll survive.” 

Her face gives nothing away regarding her inner turmoil over his choice of words. “You should try the Inn of the Green Eel. You can’t go wrong with their lamprey pie, everyone who visits Braavos has to try it.” 

“Shouldn’t you be trying to sell me your own lampreys?” He narrows his eyes at her. “It’s not good for business to promote the competition.” 

She fixes him with a serious look. “You really are such a banker.” 

“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” he murmurs quietly, head tilting a touch downwards. 

Rey huffs a silent laugh, ignoring his comment. “Even I can admit Unkar’s lampreys are no match for their lamprey pie.” 

He starts to work his jaw back and forth as though he’s weighing what to say next. “Well,” he starts slowly, “I’m heading in that direction anyway. Care to join me?” he asks, pointing his thumb behind his shoulder. “You’ve got me intrigued. I’ll have to see if this pie is as good as you say it is.” 

Rey nods her head a little too enthusiastically, not trusting her voice to come out as anything less than a squeak. They fall in line with each other as they walk the short distance to the Green Eel. Rey finds herself stealing glances at him every chance she can. He really does have such a nice profile, she wants to run her finger down the slope of his nose. He catches her looking at him and she gives him a quick flash of a smile and turns her head forward again. She clasps her hands behind her back, not trusting herself around him.

How easy would it be to just reach out and grab his hand and intertwine their fingers together? She could pretend that she was his and he was hers. Pretend that he cared for her. _Pretend that he loved her._

She lets out a soft sigh and tries to keep up with his long strides. 

They reach the Green Eel and order a cup of ale each while they sit across each other at a table and wait for their pie.

“So how did you know I’ve only come to visit Braavos?” he asks suddenly. 

Rey’s ale sloshes in its cup as she brings it down from her lips. She wasn’t expecting him to have caught her slip up. 

She gives him a sheepish smile. “Your accent, it’s Westerosi, is it not?” It was. She was certain. But he didn’t need to know how sure she was.

He heaves a puff of air through his nose, foam flying off the top of his ale. “And here I thought I’d been passing for Braavosi all this time.” A tone of humour laces his voice, growing even deeper as he continues. “Are you telling me everyone here sees right through my act?” He leans in conspiratorially and gives her a wink. 

_Oh._ She feels his voice reverberate through her very bones. 

Rey smiles into her cup, willing her words to be steady. “No, it’s really not that noticeable,” she assures him. “I just deal with sailors everyday, so I’m more attuned to accents from all over the world.” She gives him a half shrug. 

“I could’ve used your expertise when I got here,” he grumbles. “You wouldn’t believe the amount of people who after hearing my accent have accused me of being a camel’s cunt.”

Rey, caught off guard, snorts her ale through her nose. She takes one look at Ben’s disgruntled face and promptly bursts out in a fit of giggles. 

People start to give their table stares. “Sorry, sorry I—” Her apology is cut off with more laughs, tears starting to pool at the corner of her eyes. Ben shakes his head, hands wrapped around his cup, and starts to shake with laughter along with her. 

When was the last time she laughed this hard? Genuine tear inducing belly laughs? She honestly can’t remember. 

Their laughter dies down and she looks up at Ben to find him staring at her with wonder. They hold each other’s stares with the ghost of laughter still lacing their features. She sees his eyes flick down to her lips for the briefest of moments, and if her eyes do the same, she wouldn’t have told anyone. 

Their spell is broken by the arrival of their lamprey pie. They both jump back in their seats, unaware how close they had been leaning towards each other. She’s rewarded by a brilliant pink staining Ben’s cheeks as he tries to busy himself with cutting the pie. 

They fall into an easy conversation about when Ben first came to Braavos to work for the Iron Bank. He talks about getting lost in the confusing layout of the city streets and canals. He almost makes her choke on a bite of crust when he tells her he almost jumped off the boat when he first heard the titan’s roar when he entered the lagoon for the first time. 

He scoops a piece of pie to his mouth, eating greedily. “And on my second night in the city,” he explains, hands waving enthusiastically, “I ran into these bravos looking to _duel_ me.” His eyes widen comically.

Rey groans, letting her head fall into her hands. “Don't tell me you were wearing all black and decided to take a midnight stroll by the Moon Pool?” 

He keeps a straight face and answers seriously. “That’s exactly what I did.” 

That results in a new wave of giggles from her, giggles that he just can’t help but return.

Rey lets her eyes trail over his strong arms and wide chest. “No doubt you were able to defeat them. I’ve heard the Westerosi sword fighting style is something to be feared. Did you have lessons growing up?” She cocks her head to the side. 

Ben appears flustered as she keeps her eyes darting to the thick strain his tunic was stretching over each bicep. 

His lips mash together and his jaw starts to move back and forth. “No, no I had no training as a child. My parents couldn’t afford anything of the sort. I promise I am really quite useless with a sword,” he finishes brusquely. 

_A lie._ He really was adorable when he lied. The tips of his ears that were poking through his hair turned red, as red as his plump lips turned from him crushing them together. He ran a nervous hand through his hair, softly letting the waves fall back into place. She could see his cheeks start to turn the prettiest shade of pink. 

He gives her a nervous smile. “Is there pie on my face?”

 _Crap._ She was just blatantly staring at him with a dumb dreamy smile plastered on her face. He was going to think she had a head full of rocks. 

“No, no it’s just,” she bends her elbow on the table and leans her chin on her hand, “you have a really nice smile,” she finishes lamely. 

If she thought he was pink before, he turns absolutely scarlet now. He looks like he could blend in with one of the lobsters she wheeled in her barrow. 

He splutters a shy, “thank you,” and buries his face in his ale. He gulps it down ravenously, Adam’s apple hypnotically working up and down. 

They finish their pie quickly after that, Ben plopping down a couple iron coins to pay for their meal. She darts her eyes from the empty pie plate up to his eyes expectantly. “Verdict?” she asks while she untangles her legs from under the table. 

“I think you’ve just lost a customer,” he teases, eyes glinting with mischief.

Rey puts on her best playful voice. “Oh how will I ever recover? Unkar will have me demoted to clam digging duty for the rest of my days!” She breaks into a laugh, flashing all her pearly whites in the process. 

She has to squint her eyes as they emerge from the darkness of the inn onto the light of the foggy street. Crowds of people are walking up and down the way going about their business. A baker shouts out his specials for the day. A brewer pours a sample of beer for a boisterous Tyroshi man to sip. Children run around playing without a care in the world. 

“I think yours is nice too,” Ben blurts out.

Startled, she cranes her neck to look up at him. His face is set in a determined, yet nervous, look.

“Pardon?” she asks, brows pinched in confusion. 

“Your smile, I mean. Your smile is nice too,” he clarifies, awkwardly scratching the back of his neck. 

Rey can _feel_ her blood pumping through her veins. It feels like every nerve is on fire at the sound of his voice. _He likes my smile._ She suddenly feels like she needs to go have a nice long lie down to recover from this day. When was the last time she felt like this? She feels like she had just climbed the famous ice wall of Westeros, adrenaline coursing through her body. When was the last time she cried from laughter instead of sorrow? These were all foreign feelings to her, new and raw. She was unaccustomed on how to deal with them. For the first time in her life she was excited for tomorrow. Ben made her feel _alive._ How was she supposed to kill someone who made her feel alive? 

Ben, unaware of her inner spiral, still looks flustered waiting for her response. 

She cuts through the silence with a soft smile and a sweet, “thank you, Ben.” And that was that.

They say their goodbyes, Rey promising to see him tomorrow with her barrow in tow. She practically skips through town after that, alight with nervous energy and hopeful possibilities of the future, pushing down the dark, suffocating reminder of what she ultimately will have to do. 

* 

She keeps her promise the next day, and the day after that, wheeling her barrow down Ragman’s Harbour, stopping to chat with Ben and sell him his favourite oysters. Sometimes she even makes the journey to the Purple Harbour, running into Ben near the Moon Pool, and trying but failing to not tease him about his encounters with the bravos. 

“Careful Ben, I’m no ass’s pizzle,” she points her clam shucking knife in his direction, bending her legs in a water dancer’s stance. “I keep my knife sharp. You never know when you’re going to encounter a camel cunt.” 

Ben rolls his eyes and playfully bats away her wrist. “Very funny, sunshine,” he says, the tiny smile on his lips betraying his sarcastic tone. Rey’s heart leaps at the endearment. “Now hurry up and pass me that hot sauce before I throw you and your barrow in the pool,” he practically barks at her. 

His response only makes her burst out into more laughter. 

One day, she finds herself sitting side by side with him watching the sunset at the edge of a pier on the west side of the Purple Harbour. He had been busy all day, running from meeting to meeting before Rey could even talk to him. She finally found him at sundown and offered to share the rest of the treasures in her barrow that she hadn’t sold, free of charge. 

They’re sitting shoulder to shoulder, Rey sharing her shellfish and splitting a bottle of wine Ben had been gifted by a client. She let her legs swing over the dock, the toe of her boots barely scraping the water. The setting sun has cast a brilliant pink and purple hue over the city. But Rey found the sky to be a poor view in contrast to the one sitting next to her. Would her heart ever stop trying to jump out of her chest whenever he was around? She doubted it. It felt so good to just be with him. To be in his presence. Sharing food and laughs. She truly felt at peace. 

That is until he started asking about her childhood. 

Her face clouds over, but she speaks almost automatically, the story one she had drilled into her head methodically. The lies she has practiced over and over again. 

She tells him how she is an orphan of King’s Landing. “My father was an oar master on a galley,” she recites mechanically. “When my mother died he took me off to sea with him. Then he died as well and the captain had no use for me so he put me off the ship in Braavos.” Her hands bunch up and smooth down the material of her breeches. 

She feels bad for lying to him. Rey doesn’t want him to feel pity for Kira. She doesn’t want him to know Kira’s story. She wants him to know _her._ _Rey._ Rey’s story. But that is impossible. A desire she never thought she’d seek. She is no one. It’s impossible to get to know no one. She’d have to settle with him knowing Kira. It was the best she could do. 

He listens intently, nodding his head in thought, offering hushed sympathies when appropriate. And then to Rey’s great surprise, he tentatively reaches out his hand and splays it over top of her own hand that is resting flat on her thigh. He turns his head to look at her. Her shock must show on her face, because he quickly tries to retract his hand. But Rey is faster, and she flips her hand around and twines her fingers through his. His hand is so big compared to hers. Warm and smooth compared to her dirty calloused one. 

_He does not know he holds the hand of a murderer._

He speaks to her in his softest tone, pulling her out of her negative thoughts. “We’re both far from home, hm?” He gives her hand a gentle squeeze. “At least we have each other,” he whispers, making the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. 

Her thoughts stray to the mother with her children tangled in her limbs. The image that is burned into her mind so vividly she could remember every detail. She wants so badly to lay her head down on Ben’s shoulder. To close her eyes and let herself feel safe in his embrace. She tilts her head ever so slightly towards him, carefully watching him through the corner of her eye, treating him like a skittish animal ready to bolt at the sign of danger. She moves her head enough so that she’s a hair's breadth away from making contact with his shoulder. Rey takes a deep breath, summons her courage and closes the distance. 

She hears him make a soft sound in the back of his throat, but he makes no move to push her off. Another moment passes and she can feel his body relax, his own head coming to rest just slightly at the top of hers. _Is this what it feels like to be wanted?_ She can feel his body heat burning into the side of her face. It feels so good to be close to someone like this. Even better because it is Ben. Ben, with his kind eyes and funny stories. Ben, who listens to her with interest when she talks about her day and life. Ben, who likes her smile. Ben, who lets her lay her head on his shoulder while watching the sunset. Ben, who makes her feel _loved._

She can feel him breathing hard, feel his powerful chest moving up and down with each lungful of air he greedily swallows. Rey finds her chest matching his breathing. His head starts to turn towards hers, and Rey finds herself helpless to mirror his movements, turning her face up towards his. The sun is painting his face in golden pink light, making his skin glow. His eyes bore into hers, melting into the most brilliant shade of arbor gold that she fears she’ll get drunk on if she holds his gaze too long. 

His eyes go hooded as he looks down at her lips, making her toes curl in a most unnatural way. Mouth parted ever so slightly, he moves even closer to her lips. She can smell the wine on his breath, overpowering her senses. She closes her eyes and she can smell cloying blackberry, sweet honey, and the smell of Ben himself—masculine and rich, and not entirely unlike the smell of a campsite fire stamped out for the night. Curious. She can feel the warmth of his breath hitting her lips, the smell of smoke making her head spin. 

Her eyes fly open.   
  


“Fire! Someone help! Fire!”   
  


_Oh bugger._

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cockblocked by a fire


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> things are starting to ~heat up~

Both of their heads whipped around to the commotion. Rey could see dark plumes of smoke rising ominously into the sky. The smell of smoke was really starting to take root in her nose.

They could see a couple of people running away from the source of the fire. 

She and Ben share a small glance between them before they both scramble to their feet. 

“Come on,” boomed Ben, grabbing her hand and ushering her towards the fire. “Maybe we can help.” 

Rey was not completely thrilled with the idea of running towards a fire. Every cell in her body is telling her to flee from unnecessary danger. But she has a feeling that she would risk a lot more nefarious scenarios in order to keep Ben safe, so she lets him pull her along. 

They jog up the street and turn the corner, dodging people running past them all the while. 

When they turn the final corner, Rey stops in her tracks, tugging Ben to a stuttering stop.

She can feel the heat even from a safe distance away. The building is awash in flames, the windows on all three stories glowing like some horrendous candle. 

A woman stood outside the building in obvious distress. She seems to be crying and trying to speak with the few people who are huddled around her, trying to get their attention. 

“My baby! I was only gone for a second, please! She’s still up there, please.” She looks wildly around the bystanders, all watching her with sympathy painting their faces. 

Rey watches the smoke rise from the building. The fire was too strong, the baby did not stand a chance against it. She offers a silent prayer to the Many-Faced God. This was the will of her god, all men must die. She can hear the kindly man’s voice in her head—this life isn’t hers to save. So why does she feel hollow watching the scene unfolding before her? 

Lost in her thoughts, she doesn’t feel Ben disentangle his hand from her grip and race towards the building. 

“Ben, don’t go in there!” A useless plea, he continues to run straight for the fire. 

“Wait, please!” She starts after him, desperation colouring her tone. Of course he would run headfirst into a treacherous situation. That fit perfectly with the image of Ben she had been putting together in her head. 

Oh, but how fearless he looks running into the building. Her Ben, risking his own life to try and save another’s. He looks so dreamy with his hair bouncing around his shoulders while he runs. His biceps flex as they cut through the air in tandem with his powerful legs hitting the ground. 

She didn’t think she could be even more enamored with him. He was so selfless, so caring. He was a man on a mission, no one could stop him. He was going to save that little girl's life. He was her hero. He was—

He was knocked out by a fiery piece of debris falling on his back.

“Ben!” Rey rushes over to him, falling onto her knees beside him. She feels the side of his neck, his pulse steady under her fingertips. _Alive._ Reckless, but alive. Her sweet, brave Ben. 

She can’t even spend a lick of time stewing in her frustration of his disregard for his own hide. The fire is still blazing and if she doesn’t act fast, they’ll both be ash in no time. 

Ben is absolutely massive. There is no way she’s going to be able to carry him to safety like she would have liked. But her training with the faceless men taught her many ways to move bodies. 

Rey bends over Ben’s head and positions her hands under his shoulders—her hands practiced and sure. The smoke was starting to make it very hard to breathe, but she channeled all her strength in dragging him through the building’s front door. 

A man outside the building rushes to help her, grabbing Ben’s feet. All she saw was his pox scarred hands, too concerned about Ben to pay attention to her helper. Together they settled him against a neighbouring building. The woman who was yelling for her child comes rushing over.

“Please watch him,” she grips the woman’s shoulder, staring deep into her eyes, willing her to comply. “I’ll go back for your baby, but please keep him safe.” The woman’s mouth was hanging open and could only manage a quick nod before Rey was dashing back into the building.

The smoke hit her like a wall, curling it’s way deep into her nose. She was coughing as she made her way to the stairs. She starts climbing on her hands and knees, trying to stay as low to the ground as possible. 

She scans the second floor as best as she can, but the smoke is making that harder than she would have liked.

She closes her eyes and draws her tunic over the bottom half of her face. _Focus Rey._ She let the sound of the fire crackling escape her mind and listened. _There she is._ The unmistakable cry of a baby coming from the next floor up.

Rey crawls back to the stairs, sweat dripping into her eyes from her efforts. She zeroes in on the baby’s cries and finds her lying in her blankets by a window. She scoops the girl up in her arms and is startled by the violent sounds of wood breaking. 

She thinks she hears someone scream, not entirely unconvinced it was her own voice.

The stairs are completely engulfed in the flames, there is no way for her to get back down the way she came.

She cradles the girl more snuggly into her chest while staying low to the ground, moving towards the open window.

There was no help for it. She was going to have to escape through the window. 

Smoke is billowing out of the window in a steady stream, having no other place to go. She pokes her head out to assess the surroundings.

There’s a clear jump to the building next to her. She takes another peek and sees some of the people in the crowd have noticed her.

 _Well, crap._ She didn’t want her acrobatic skills on display for an audience. That would just raise questions. But she really had no choice, the building is standing on borrowed time. 

Rey squeezes the baby tighter to her in one arm and vaults through the window.

She lands on the side of the other building, her free arm coming up to grab onto a windowsill. Her feet grip a pair of protruding bricks. She makes quick work of skimming the side of the wall, sliding down onto an awning above a door. Then she makes a final jump down to the ground. 

She staggers a little, lightheaded from the smoke inhalation. The baby is still crying which is a good sign. And like a siren call, the baby’s mother is suddenly in front of her reaching for her child.

She was overcome with gratitude. “Oh my baby, my baby, thank you, thank you.” The woman rocked the baby back and forth trying to get her to calm down. “Bless you child, bless you, you saved my baby’s life!” 

Rey’s stomach does a funny little dip at that remark. Not used to such gratitude before. 

“It was nothing,” she manages to spit out, wiping her soot smudged face. 

She stands up straight on wobbly legs, not entirely trusting herself not to fall over. Then suddenly, strong hands settle on her arms. Rey looks up and is met with an angel's eyes.

“Ben, are—” she starts to cough. He helpfully pats her back gently but firmly. His hand lingers even after she stops.

“I’m okay, my back is killing me, but I’ll live.” He searches her eyes for a moment, something unsettling about how deeply he seems to be looking at her. 

She’s uncomfortably aware of even more eyes on her. The crowd of people unsure whether to keep watching the blaze, or the woman who just jumped out of it. 

Sensing her wariness, Ben puts his arm around her, partially blocking her from their stares.

“Come on, I don’t live too far from here.” He peeks down at her, brow pinching in concern. “Can you walk, or do you want me to carry you?” 

She narrows her eyes up at him, “I should be the one carrying _you.”_

He releases a little tension at the sound of her joking, and it tugs on her heart to see him so relieved. 

Rey is all too eager to disappear from the curious looks being thrown her way.

“Lead the way.”

*

They manage to hobble together back to Ben’s house in one piece. It was a longer walk than she would’ve liked in present circumstances. But she did like that she got to lean on him the entire way. He was so solid against her. And being in his embrace felt _right._

Ben lived just opposite the Palace of Truth on the Green Canal. His home was in a nicer pocket of the city, the buildings looking clean and well managed. 

It was obvious he made good money at the bank. It must have pained him to hang around Ragman’s all this time with her when he was used to the luxurious areas he would normally inhabit. 

She silenced that negative train of thought and settled down in a chair in Ben’s kitchen. He brought her a cup of water and a wet washcloth to clean her skin of all the accumulated soot.

“Are you sure you’re alright?” she asks as she begins to scrub her forearms. “Because that was a pretty heavy piece of wood that got you.” 

“I promise I’m fine,” he assures her, not unkindly. He pulls up a chair and sits facing her. “I’m more worried about you.”

His face is pinched in such genuine concern that she can’t help but feel butterflies in her stomach. _Or maybe that’s just the smoke inhalation._

“You were in there for a while, I thought for a second there you may have passed out or-or s-something.” His breath comes out shakily as his eyes roam every inch of her face. 

“I didn’t mean to scare you. I just wasn’t going to let you go in there by yourself.” Rey just shrugs one shoulder, her voice coming out small to her ears, like she was reluctant to reveal that part of her that showed she cared about him. 

He nods, never taking his eyes off her. 

“Thank you for getting me out of there. I don’t know what I was thinking. I just had to try.” His cheeks suddenly turn a shade pink. “Obviously I envisioned that going a little smoother, but...” He was clearly a little embarrassed. 

She couldn’t have that. 

“You had the right intentions, Ben. I don’t know if I would’ve even ran into that building if you hadn’t burst into there first.” She shakes her head a little. 

“You would’ve,” he adamantly states, conviction coursing through his voice. “You’re a good person. That baby lived because of _you.”_

He reaches out and covers one of her hands with his. Her heart leaps to her throat. “You were incredible. You jumped through that window fearlessly. I’ve never seen anything like it.” He gently squeezes her hand. 

She isn’t going to contradict him even though she wants to. She isn’t a hero. She isn’t _good_. She wants to believe his words but it just isn't true. _Is it?_

It felt good to be praised by Ben. It felt good to be thanked by that woman. But she doesn’t feel like she deserves it. If it weren’t for Ben’s recklessness, she wouldn’t have even bothered to help. She was selfish, only saving that baby for Ben’s sake.

One of the things she learned at the temple was to draw the least amount of attention towards yourself. There was no need to be flashy with your kills. The faceless assassins were not brutes. They killed stealthily. No trails left behind. Their victims never saw them coming. 

If she was following her training, she would’ve never gone in that building. She should’ve pissed off and disappeared in the fog, leaving Ben to die. 

That’s what she was meant to be doing after all. She should’ve left him to burn in that building. He was unconscious, it would’ve been too easy to let him be consumed by the flames. That would’ve solved her whole conundrum.

Mission accomplished. Assignment complete.

 _If you were following your training, you wouldn’t have volunteered for this assignment in the first place,_ a small voice in the back of her head reminds her. 

“I’m not a hero,” she all but whispers to him, voice raw.

“You are to me.” 

He picks up the wet cloth and dabs at a few spots she missed on her cheek.

Rey can hardly breathe as his strong but sure hand presses the cloth featherlight to her skin. 

_So this is what it feels like to be cared for._

She felt torn. She didn’t want to hurt him. What was she thinking getting this far deep into knowing him? She had already disobeyed her training long before she ran into that fiery blaze. 

She should’ve never let Ben see her. She should’ve never taken this assignment. 

She knew all of this and _yet._

How could she have let someone else kill Ben? Would she have been able to stand by and watch one of her brothers or sisters kill him? 

Could she, after spending all this time with him, be able to kill him?

She honestly doesn't know. 

A lone tear falls from her eye. “I’m not a good person, Ben,” she hushedly confesses. 

He puts the washcloth down and cups her cheek, thumb brushing away her tears. 

She leans into his hand and closes her eyes. He’s so warm and soft. He feels incredible to her touch starved body.

Ben waits for her to reopen her eyes. “I’ve never met anyone like you. No one I know would’ve done what you did today.” He caresses her cheek a little as he speaks. 

His eyes are so full and earnest. He’s telling the truth. 

“I could’ve died in there, but you managed to pull me out,” he says, voice awestruck. His lips work silently for a moment, trying to find the right words. “I don’t have anyone in my life who would’ve done that for me. Followed my idiotic self into a burning building.” 

The corner of Rey’s mouth turns up at his self deprecation. 

Seeing her smile only winds him up even more.

“I mean it. You’re just plain old _good._ I’ll tell you everyday until you believe me. I’m so lucky to have someone like you in my life.” He speaks with the utmost confidence, deep voice reverberating into her very soul. 

Ben’s eyes feel like they are melting into hers.

She can’t resist him much longer, her resolve dwindling down more and more with each of his words. 

She throws out one last defence. One that hurts her to her core. Her voice sounds weaker than ever. 

“You don’t know me. I’m a nobody. I’m no one.” 

“Not to me.”

Oh, how a simple three words could make her whole body feel like she’d been struck by lightning. 

She can see Ben slowly inch his head towards her, closing the gap between them. She lets her eyes fall closed, Ben’s eyelashes fanning his mole dusted cheeks are the last thing she sees. 

Rey has never been kissed before. She’d seen the act plenty of times. Studied the different ways some of her previous targets had kissed people. But _nothing_ could’ve prepared her for the pleasure of kissing Ben.

The moment his plush lips press up against hers, she’s convinced she is still stuck in the building, burning alive.

Her blood feels like it’s boiling to the surface. Everything is too hot. 

His hand is still cradling her face, the softest of touches. Her own hands are scrunched up in the fabric of her breeches, not knowing what to do with them.

She feels herself lean into the kiss, trying to match him.

Ben’s lips feel so smooth and soft. She can't help but moan softly at his touch. She wants this to last forever. 

So she’s a little disappointed when he pulls back.

“Was that okay?” A tinge of concern crosses his handsome features. 

No one has ever looked at her like this before. Like they genuinely cared about her feelings. She had an overwhelming urge to show him just how okay it was. 

Rey lunges—her arms find their way around his neck as she attaches her mouth back to his. She tries to put everything she felt into her kiss—the connection she has been building with him. She knows he feels it too. He has to, when he was kissing her with the same conviction.

They are both on the edge of their seats, knees knocking together. Ben lets his free hand curl around her lower back, pulling her even closer.

Her hands wind their way into his hair. _So soft._ Just like she imagined. She wants to keep them tangled in his tresses for days on end.

She lets her nails lightly scrape his scalp and is rewarded with a grunt of pleasure from the back of his throat. The masculine sound shoots straight through her core. 

Ben lets his tongue tentatively trace the seam of her mouth, requesting access. Her lips part on a gasp, the new sensation equal parts foreign and exciting. 

He was _tasting_ her. 

His tongue found hers and Rey found herself trying her best to mimic his movements. It was downright filthy. She could feel her nipples tighten at the sensation. Every scrape of them against her tunic made her squirm.

She needed more. Not breaking the kiss, she gets up and straddles Ben in his chair, molding herself to his body as much as she can. Both of his hands move to hold her waist, while hers continue their ministrations on his head. Every touch of tongues together set a spark through her. 

He slowly lowers his grip to her ass, kneading her with his massive hands. Gone was his gentle touch. He grabbed at her with a ferocious need, moving her back and forth on his lap to build a delicious friction. His back pain was all but forgotten. 

She broke their kiss in shock when she felt him harden underneath her. The sensation of his thick length rubbing so close to where she needed him made her pant unabashedly. He lowers his mouth onto her neck and kisses her languorously, giving her a chance to catch her breath. 

“Ben,” she practically pants, “that feels...” She’s unable to finish her thought, but he got the gist of it. 

She bends her head to give him better access. He trails kisses up and down her neck, sucking her pulse point in between those pillowy lips. Rey feels like she’s going to explode. She’s experiencing a sensory overload in the form of Ben. 

He slides one hand to the hem of her tunic, dark eyes flitting to hers asking for permission. She bobs her head helplessly, lost in the lust she sees reflected in his eyes.

He trails his hand over her stomach to settle on her ribs, the pads of his fingers just lightly grazing the underside of her breast. Rey shivers and promptly erupts in goosebumps. She can’t take his unyielding stare any longer for fear of drowning in the black pools where his eyes once were. 

Eyes closed and head thrown back, she relishes in Ben’s hand cupping her breast, his thumb brushing over her nipple. 

She can only imagine what he was thinking of her—nipples unbearably hard, skin flushed a deep red, hair starting to stick on her sweaty brow, and breath coming out in shallow puffs. 

As if sensing her inner spiral, he saves her from her thoughts.

“Beautiful,” he breathes, a single word offered in a hushed and reverent tone. 

He looks at her like she contains all the answers of the universe. 

Rey captures his lips in a quick bid to stop his eyes from devouring every inch of her flustered being. 

His thumb is strumming a steady beat over her nipple almost to the tune of her beating heart, their tongues dancing to the same unrelenting tune. 

Every so often Ben would almost involuntarily buck his hips up to find some sort of relief to the growing problem in his pants. Each time felt like he was striking a match against her, sparks trying to catch flame. 

Rey was drunk with pleasure. She had never felt this all encompassing feeling before. This felt so _right._

_Ben_ felt so right. 

All of her life was dedicated to the temple. She was forbidden from any sort of relationship like this. Attachments meant trouble. A person who is no one couldn’t possibly have a relationship. Acting on these feelings meant she was _someone._

She was _Rey._ And Ben told her she meant something to him. And she felt like she was on the brink of something life-changing with him. 

He starts to slide the hand around her breast lower down to her stomach. They both break their kiss to stare down at it. His one hand covers most of the skin of her abdomen. The sight makes her dizzy. 

_Yes, lower._

She was mad with lust, she needed his thick fingers on her. To use those talented fingers on her core. She needed him to help her find her glorious release. 

_Yes, yes, lower please._

Her head is swinging back and forth in time with her shaky breath. 

His hands are so big, so strong. She’s positive he could wrap both around her waist and pick her up and handle her like a ragdoll. He could definitely wrap them around her legs, spreading them apart. 

She suddenly straightens up, breaking free of her lust fogged mind. Her hand snaps to the top of his, stilling his hand from going any lower. 

_Hands gripping legs._

The man who helped her carry Ben to safety—he had pox scars covering his hands. Hands she _knew._ Hands she didn’t register at the time because her adrenaline was so high. 

He was a servant of the Many-Faced God. He was there. He saw her whole performance. 

At the start of her training, Rey often saw other servants watching her. Always hiding in the shadows to make sure she didn’t make any mistakes. But Rey was a seasoned assassin now. She was usually allowed to roam free, her track record speaking for itself. She didn’t make mistakes. There was never any need for her to be watched. She didn’t stray from her training. _Until now, that is._

Her red hot blood suddenly chilled. What if he had already told everyone at the temple what happened? They’d know she saved Ben from receiving the gift. 

It felt like she had just been drenched in ice water. What was she thinking getting this close to him? She should’ve never let it get this far. 

Her eyes snap to his, her hand gripping his so hard she thought she might break it. 

“I have to go,” she says, the words expelled in a breathy whisper. 

The effect of her words were instantaneous on him. His entire face drops. The ferocity of before is now replaced with concern. Always concern. She didn’t deserve him.

She pulls his hand away from her and stands up, arranging her mussed up clothes back in order.

“Did I do something wrong?” He speaks so cautiously it makes the guilt bubble it’s way up into her. 

“No, I just have somewhere to be. I forgot all about it.” The words sound wrong coming out of her. Almost like her voice didn’t belong to her at all. 

“Right.” He clears his throat, subtly adjusting his breeches. She didn’t mean to leave him so high and dry. 

Rey can’t seem to meet his eyes. They both stand awkwardly apart from one another, unsure of what to do or say.

“Kira,” he says so genuinely, it causes her to wince, “I meant what I said. I’m lucky to have you in my life.” 

And there was the truth of this whole situation. She let herself get so involved with Ben and he didn’t even know her real name. This had gotten too far. His sweet words were meant for a different girl. Not Rey. He could tell her he knew her all he wanted. But he didn’t know Rey. He knew Kira. 

He could never know _Rey_.

“I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable,” he murmurs, hand rubbing the back of his neck. “I hope this doesn’t change anything between us. I’d like you to be in my life in whatever way you can,” he says, looking utterly heartbroken. 

Her foolish Ben. He thought she didn’t want him that way. Hadn’t he felt how eager she responded to his touch? 

“I do, Ben. I do want you like that,” she stresses, tone exasperated. “I want a lot more than that,” she finishes quietly. Her hands rubbing her crossed arms. 

The hopeful look in Ben’s eyes returns at her declaration and he steps closer to her in encouragement. 

He wraps his left hand around her waist, the right around her head, bringing it down to rest against his chest.

His breath tickles her temple. “So do I.” 

Rey’s whole body shivers at his deep voice. His chest rumbles with it against her ear. She allows herself a precious moment to just rest on his chest, letting herself feel safe in his embrace. 

She has to leave before she does something stupid. 

*

The safety she felt in his arms quickly evaporates as she tears through the streets. The feeling of dread crawls it’s way back into her body. 

She had said goodbye to Ben and promised to see him soon. But she wasn’t so sure she would be able to keep that promise. 

What had she gotten herself into? Never in her life had she acted so recklessly. Who knows what the situation in the temple is. How much did they know about her business with Ben? 

She ducks into an alley and emerges on another street. The sun has long set and a bitter chill takes up the air. 

There are barely any people out at this time of night, but Rey can’t help but be on the lookout.

She keeps her legs moving fast and eyes equally as quick. They keep darting around at every movement just waiting for someone to jump out at her. The moon is covered by clouds tonight, the only light coming from homes and establishments that hadn’t put out their candles and hearths yet. 

She’s walking along the Long Canal and has to strain her ears to listen for noises over the sloshing of the water. 

She passes by a group of mummers, laughing and clinking their drinks together outside a tavern. They look so carefree. Smiles are plastered on their faces, not a care in the world. 

She doesn’t feel like laughing right now. 

Far from it.

There are many hidden entrances to the temple scattered around the city. Rey ducks into one after checking her surroundings to make sure no one saw her. As she starts her long trek in an underground corridor towards the temple, she begins to think of a plan. 

She reaches the end of the tunnel and pushes open the heavy weirwood door. This entrance is located right by the temple’s kitchen.

Rey peeks her head through the doorway and sees Maz, the temple cook, preparing a fish dinner. Likely for some acolyte to eat after a long night out.

Spotting her, she ushers Rey over with a withered hand. “Come child, I have cod I made earlier.” She turns her back, grabbing a plate. “It’s crusted with walnuts. Just the way you like it.” 

Rey takes the offered plate with eager hands. She hadn’t realized how starving she was. The events of the day really took a toll on her.

Maz doesn’t seem to be viewing her any different than she normally does. Maybe the news of her little stunt didn’t make it to everybody in the temple. 

The cod is just the way she remembers. Nowadays, she doesn’t really get to spend a lot of time eating at the temple. Usually she eats in the city, playing the role of whatever face she was wearing. 

But back when she was an acolyte, Rey loved to spend time cooking with Maz. She was one of the only people in the temple who didn’t act like the rest of the servants. She still believed in the teachings of the Many-Faced God, but she wasn’t so strict like the kindly man. Rey felt like she could truly relax with Maz.

At the thought of the kindly man she gulped, the walnuts hard to swallow down her dry throat. She was delaying the inevitable. With quiet thanks, Rey washes her empty plate and goes to search for him.

She finds him in the holy sanctum scrubbing a body clean. Her heart skips a beat. The body he’s washing is huge, the hair dark and long. _A coincidence._ He just so happened to be preparing this body that looked an awful lot like Ben. It didn’t mean anything. 

“I learned an interesting piece of information today,” he says while rubbing a cloth down the man’s arm. “Kira of the Canals was seen pulling a man named Ben Solo from the body of a burning building.” His eyes glance at her.

“Kira did do this thing,” she replies. Her face gives nothing away.

He moves on to washing the chest of the man, his eyes no longer on her, waiting for her to elaborate.

“It would have been too suspicious if this man died in the fire.” She couldn't bring herself to say his name out loud, for fear of the kindly man hearing the emotion behind it. “I was planning on giving him the gift more discreetly. No trace.” 

The faceless men were all about stealth. Surely he would accept her reasoning. Whoever had prayed for Ben’s death wouldn’t have liked that he died in something as suspicious as a fire. Hiring a faceless assassin was not cheap. Whoever had paid for Ben’s death was expecting the job to be done seamlessly. Not something sloppy that could be traced back to the buyer. 

They were paying for discretion. 

“The man named Ben must die. It is the will of our god,” he continues as he wrings out the washcloth. “You have served the temple for many years, young one.” His infallible stare jumps back to her, she swallows back a yelp. “Do not stray now.” 

Rey musters up her most confident, convincing tone of voice. “He will. I will give the gift soon. I have a plan.” 

She isn’t completely sure he believes her. The mask she schooled her face into felt believable to her, but the kindly man was a whole different coin. 

He nods his head in dismissal.

“Just so.” 

*

The kindly man had plucked her from obscurity, gave her a warm bed and food to fill her belly. He gave her a life worth living. How could she turn her back on him, on the life she built? 

She barely knows Ben. Every interaction they had was built on lies. He didn’t even know her true name. She was foolish letting this last as long as it did. Stringing this farce along for selfish reasons. 

Just so she could _feel_ something.

She was embarrassed about the feelings he managed to stir in her. Embarrassed about the vulnerability she exposed to him. 

She was no one, no matter what he said to her. She wasn’t supposed to have these feelings. They were wrong. They didn’t have any place in her life as a faceless assassin. 

Enough playing around. He was just a man. And she was just a woman doing her duty. 

He has to die. 

She couldn’t throw her life away for a pair of pretty eyes. 

It was all too easy to slip the note under his door. He had already left for work, he wouldn’t see it until late in the day.

  
  
  


_Ben,_

_I’m sorry for the way I acted last night. Let me_

  
  


_make it up to you. Meet me by the third bridge_

_behind the Inn of the Green Eel. Tonight at the_

  
  


_hour of the bat. I’ll be waiting._

_K._   
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> she’s totally going to kill her big dumb boyfriend🤧 totallyyyyyy


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it’s just trash folks

The moon was full and bright, casting a ghostly hue on the city when it peeked through the wispy clouds. It was a bitterly cold night. 

_Fitting,_ she thought. 

Rey huddled deeper into her cloak, the ends billowing in the wind, whipping an eerie tune against her legs. 

The streets were still bathed in the fog of the day, too stubborn to dissipate. An image of the fog curling its smoky tendrils around her body found its way unbidden into her thoughts.

_Nerves. I’m feeling nervous._

It's not as if this is her first time killing someone. But it’s her first time going about it in this way. 

There’s nothing stealthy about what she has planned for tonight. If she’s completely honest, she doesn’t have a concrete plan set in place. 

She had lied to the kindly man. She had lied to herself. No matter how hard she told herself her mind was made up, it simply wasn’t. 

She was being torn apart. 

Rey could hear the laughter coming from The Happy Port before it even came into view. Rose was standing in the doorway with her head tilted up to the sky. Despite this, she still was able to see Rey approach.

“It’s so beautiful, isn’t it?” Her dreamy expression flitted down to Rey. “I always love when it’s a full moon. It’s so mysterious.” 

Rey tore her eyes from Rose’s face to follow her gaze. 

Rose closed one eye and stuck out her tongue in concentration. “It’s like you can just,” she lifts her hand with a pointed finger, “reach out and touch it.” 

She looks back at Rey with a wistful smile on her face. “No oysters today?” 

She shakes her head in response. “No oysters today.” 

Rose regards her thoughtfully. “All the better. A ship docked this morning full of some Lyseni men curious to see if Braavosi women compare to their famous pillow houses.” She points to a ship bobbing in the dock, its sides painted with obnoxious gold detailing. “You know how much Kaydel loves her Lyseni men. If you went in there now she’d talk your ear off about how she was going to run away and marry one of them.” She gave her head a fond little shake. Rey snorted.

Rose threw her a pointed look. “And what about you? Is marriage in the cards, do you think?” 

Rarely did people catch her off guard, but Rose was special like that. 

“Marriage?” Rey chokes out. 

“Don’t play dumb with me, Kira. I see the way you two walk along the Harbour.” She smiles deviously. “I see the way he looks at you. The way he hangs on your every word.” 

Rey felt like jumping into said harbour. 

“What’s his name?” Her voice is gentle.

“Ben.” 

She nods to herself. “Well, Ben looks at you like you’re his own personal moon. I wouldn’t be surprised if he popped the question any time soon.” 

Rey looked aghast. “We barely know each other! He’s—” Rose waits for her to find the words. “He’s too good for me. He would never. It’s not like that.” Her words sound hollow to her ears.

“Have you told _him_ that?” Rose is enjoying this way too much. Her teasing tone sobers as she looks at the actual panic on Rey’s face. “You like him don’t you?” 

Rey offers a single nod under the moonlight. 

“You know, the red priests say the moon was created to ‘light the way.’” Rose smooths a comforting hand on Rey’s shoulder. “It’ll work out. Love always finds a way.” 

* 

Her talk with Rose only leaves Rey feeling even more confused. Her head was spinning with so many thoughts she swore it was going to fall off her shoulders. 

She perches on the top of an apartment with a good view of the meeting spot, her mind wandering. 

She knew Ben wanted her in a physical sense. He had said as much. And she had first hand evidence of it too, her cheeks turning red at the memory. 

Did he see a life with her? Did he even want her around for that long? 

She tried to envision her life with Ben. She tried to see them married and living together and being happy. They’d get out of the bleak water and stone prison of Braavos. Live somewhere green and full of life. She’d have a garden. Maybe a cat to chase vermin away from her plants. Ben would laugh and wash the dirt out from underneath her fingernails. And each night they’d keep each other warm. 

But these thoughts were interrupted by a simple fact. 

She couldn’t escape the temple.

She’d never heard of anyone leaving the order. Surely they’d find her if she ever tried to run. Kill her and Ben. They couldn’t risk her spilling their secrets. 

Her sweet daydreams of a life with Ben quickly turned bitter. 

At the thought of Ben, he appeared in the distance. His head swivelling around trying to find her the closer he got to the bridge. 

Rey scaled down the building and waited for him in the shadows. She could hear his lumbering gait even from her hiding place. She smiled to herself. He was just so _big,_ he couldn’t help it. Her smile turned into a silent giggle. It was so like him to make her laugh without even trying. 

Emboldened by her newfound giddiness, she leapt out at him when he passed, pulling him into the alley. 

He lets out a quiet gasp before the sound is swallowed up by her standing on her tiptoes and claiming his lips against hers. 

Upon realizing who had just kissed him, he winds his arms around her and pulls her tightly against him. 

She pulls back, but lets her arms rest around his neck. “You should be more careful walking alone in the dark,” she drawls, tone playful. “You don’t know what kind of monsters are lurking about.” She raises one eyebrow at him. 

His hands smooth over her lower back. “If you’re what’s waiting for me in the dark, I might just risk a few more late night strolls,” he counters, matching her teasing. He then plants a soft kiss to her forehead. “I missed you.” 

She nearly goes cross-eyed looking up at him. “I saw you yesterday.” 

“Still too long. I got used to you following me around everyday stinking of oysters.”

Rey pokes him in the ribs. “Hey! I do _not_ smell like oysters.” 

He just laughs and pulls her closer, taking a comically deep breath through his nose. “Ah, smells like…” Rey scrunches her nose at him, waiting for him to finish his thought. “...sunshine. Sunshine and warmth.” His face turns serious at the turn of a hat. 

Rey feels heat blossom in her chest. “Sunshine doesn’t smell like anything,” she protests.

He tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. “It does.” The simplest of statements. “It smells like you.” 

Rey doesn’t want to think about the look in his eyes. The look of a man about to devour her whole. She doesn’t like the idea of standing so exposed in an alley with him looking at her like that. _Crap, maybe Rose was right._

“Come on, you bloodhound, let’s get you _and_ that nose inside.” She meant to sound teasing, but it comes out more breathily than she would have liked. 

Ben just smiles and lets her grab his hand and lead him away. 

Rey had many rooms in many apartments stashed around the city. They made for easy alibis when adopting her multitude of identities. The one she was taking him to now was a simple home. It was on the second floor of an empty apartment. Nobody would be able to hear them tonight—hear _anything_ she decided to do. 

And that was the kicker. She still wasn’t fully decided. She knew what her body wanted, what she had promised him tonight. Her heart ached for it. 

But her brain had a different idea. 

She leads him up the stairs and through her door. Her room isn’t as nice as his home, but he makes no mention of it. He doesn’t even so much as look at his surroundings. He only has eyes for her. 

Eyes that were currently glued to her body as she takes off her cloak and hangs it on the wall. He’s breathing heavily, wide chest heaving. 

Rey walks up to him and lifts her trembling hands to unbutton his own cloak. The fine material is soft in her grasp. The energy between them is so charged, Rey’s surprised she hadn't combusted yet. 

She hangs up his cloak and looks over her shoulder. “Drink?” she offers. 

He nods and Rey moves over to her shelf to try and reach for a bottle of spiced rum a sailor named Jannah gave her from one of her trips to the Summer Isles. 

_Poison his drink._

The thought pops into her mind. It would be too easy. 

She pushes the thought away. It’s too early in the night. She’ll find another way. 

Ben can see her struggling to reach the top shelf and gently moves her out of the way.

“Here, let me.” His arm stretches high above his head making his doublet ride up. 

Rey releases a small gasp through her lips. There on his left hip sits a jagged scar, healed, but still gnarly to behold. 

He follows her line of sight, his face darkening at the realization of what she must have seen. 

“What happened?” Rey whispers. She lifts her hand as though wanting to feel it, but lowers it after meeting his eyes. 

Ben sets the rum down on her little table and lets out a quiet sigh. 

Surprisingly, he looks scared.

Rey takes his hand between the two of hers. Her two hands barely covered his one. 

He keeps his eyes trained on their hands. “You won’t look at me the same once I tell you.” His voice breaks at the end of his sentence. 

“Ben,” she says, heart breaking for him. She can’t stand to see him so pained. 

Rey leads him to her bed, sitting down and patting the spot beside her. He sits down and Rey has to steady herself from rolling into him as he dips deep into the mattress. 

“You can tell me. Anything. I’m not going anywhere. I promise.” 

He licks his lips and looks at her for a couple of seconds. Whatever he finds on her face, he takes as a sign to continue. 

“You already know I’m from Westeros,” he starts slowly. “But I haven’t been exactly honest about my family.” 

Rey gives him an encouraging nod, not at all mad he had been keeping something from her. She wasn’t one to talk. She was full of secrets. 

“My mother is Leia of house Organa. She’s the Lady of Alderaan. It’s a castle in the Reach,” he says haltingly.

Rey keeps nodding along. It makes sense. Ben carried himself as a lord might. He may have tried to separate himself from his upbringing, but Rey could see through it. 

Seeing that she isn’t freaking out about this piece of information, he continues. 

“I was an angry child. I’m not proud of it, but that’s just the truth of it. My mother was too busy ruling, and my father,” he swallows thickly, “my father didn’t like to stay in one place too long. Castle life didn’t suit him. I barely saw him.” His voice is weak.

Rey squeezes his hand.

“My mother sent me away to be a ward to Lord Snoke.” His eyes have a far off look to them. “He filled my head with poisonous notions. He didn’t think my parents were good leaders of Alderaan. He had six other wards. The way he made us all train… it was unreal.” 

He blinks and realizes she’s still there sitting beside him. 

“I was knighted when I turned eighteen. I spent the next few years away from Alderaan as much as possible. And all the while Snoke still had his claws in me.” 

Rey could see his teeth clench. 

“One day he took me back to Alderaan along with the other knights of his wardship. He accused my father and mother of not having the right to rule Alderaan. He wanted me to rule,” he scoffs. “Well, he wanted to rule _through_ me. He challenged my father for the right to rule Alderaan.” He looks at her suddenly. “Are you familiar with a trial of seven?”

She wasn’t, but it sounded like another Westerosi custom she knew about. “Is it like a trial by combat?” 

Ben looks thoughtful, his lips pursed. “It is, except seven champions fight on each side. Seven to honour the gods of the Faith of the Seven.” 

She knew about the Faith of the Seven. She heard people in the temple praying to the Stranger.

“There was no honour that day.” His voice was toneless, unemotional. “Knights flocked to fight alongside my father. His best was the one who gave me this,” he taps his hip. “But it didn’t stop me from what happened after.” 

Tears start to pool in his eyes. Rey could tell what was coming next.

“I killed him,” he whispered, so silent. “When the moment came, I didn’t hesitate. I shoved my sword right through him. When his other champions saw, they yielded. I barely noticed. I just held him until he died. And the worst part is, I saw _forgiveness_ in his eyes. He _forgave_ me.” A tear falls down his cheek. “Snoke was elated. But I didn’t care. I told him I changed my mind, I didn’t want to rule. I realized how he had manipulated me my entire life. He was so angry, I thought he was going to kill me.” 

Rey couldn’t take her eyes off him. 

“He told me I would regret my choice and left. My mother forgave me. Can you imagine that? She _forgave_ me. I didn’t deserve it. She told me I could stay with her, she wouldn’t let Snoke get to me. But I couldn’t stay long without the constant reminder of what I did. So I came to Braavos. This is where I’ve been since then.” His shoulders slump at the end of his tale. 

Rey twists her body to face him more, taking his face between her hands. She wipes his tears away with her thumbs. “Why would you think I’d see you any differently, Ben? You said it yourself, Snoke manipulated you your entire life. You were just a boy.” 

“And now I’m a monster.” He couldn’t even look her in the eyes.

“You’re not a monster. You said your parents forgave you. It’s time you forgive yourself.” He looks back up to her now. “I’ll help you,” she whispers. “Everyday. I’ll remind you everyday if I have to,” she echoes his own words from yesterday back to him. 

That earns a smile from him. His full lips tilting up a fraction. “I don’t deserve you,” he says all too sadly. 

“You’ve got that backwards. But it’s okay, I forgive you.” His tentative smile breaks into a full grin, her favourite dimple even making an appearance. 

“My sunshine,” his breath fans over her face. The heat from earlier in the night takes root once again in her body. She chews her lip between her teeth nervously. 

Molten eyes turn downcast, seemingly hypnotized by her worrying her bottom lip. 

That’s all the warning she gets before he’s kissing her. His big hand comes up to cradle the back of her neck. Lips devouring hers in the most desperate way. 

She tries to put all her feelings into the kiss. She tries to tell him she’s here for him. She heard his story and she's still here. 

Their tongues tangle together in the sweetest caress. Somehow, this feels even better than yesterday. 

The vulnerability Ben shared with her tonight is heightening this experience. 

She wants to see him now. _All of him._ She slides her hands to the ends of his doublet, lifting it up his torso. He gets the idea and stands up, helping her lift it off of him. 

It’s like her own personal titan coming to life before her. 

She knew Ben must have had a nice body judging by the way his clothes were always fighting not to be ripped apart by his every move. But she was wholly unprepared for just how beautiful he looks. He is just so _broad._ She wants to be held by him and never leave his strong arms. He looks like he’d been carved by marble. She wonders if he feels as cold as it too. 

She’s eye level with his hip scar from her position on the bed, so she bends closer and plants a lingering kiss on it. 

Ben inhales a sharp breath at the sensation and pulls her up to claim her lips again. She lets her hand rest on his smooth chest. She feels it rise and fall with each of his breaths, his sweet lips kissing her tenderly. His hands travel to the hem of her tunic and she allows him to pull it over her head. 

His eyes travel down her smallclothes, stopping where her hardened nipples are clearly visible through the thin material. He lifts his hands to her breasts, completely covering them. Taking her bottom lip in between his, he sucks. He does this in tandem with his thumbs roving over her nipples. Rey has never felt this exposed before. Her knees feel like they are going to give out at any second. The feeling of his huge hands on her sensitive peaks is unlike anything she has ever felt before. 

He lifts her smallclothes over her head and stares at her in wonder. No one has ever seen her like this. She suddenly feels too scrawny, certain Ben would be repulsed from her half healed bruises and scars that mottle her body. 

But he does no such thing.

Bending low to press a kiss just above her left nipple, he murmurs against her skin. “Just like the sun,” he begins, placing another kiss to her right breast, “I fear I’m blinded from your beauty.” 

And if that declaration didn’t render her completely speechless, his sinful lips wrapping around her nipple surely does the trick. 

She manages to gasp, “Ben,” and twine her fingers through his hair. She holds him as he moves to her other nipple, licking and sucking her with wild abandon. Heat pools in her lower abdomen, pressure starting to build in her core. 

He can see that her legs are starting to wobble and releases her with one last lewd lick, gently pushing her down on the bed, her head resting on her pillow. 

Rey can feel her desire for him coursing through her body. He kneels between her legs, coming down to kiss her some more. Each clash of their tongues together makes her clench on nothing. He holds himself over her on one hand, the other coming to gently pinch her nipple. She can feel herself getting wet from his touch. 

There is no denying she wants him. But she’s scared. She has never done this before. Ben awoke so many feelings within her. Never has she felt this way about someone. He must have seen the panic in her eyes. 

“Don’t be afraid,” he whispers the hushed words against her lips. “I feel it too.” 

Those perfect lips move down to kiss her new favourite spot on her neck that makes her body sing in pleasure. 

He trails kisses down the slope of her stomach, stopping at her breeches. His dark eyes catch hers. “Can I taste you?” 

Her heart is surely about to beat out of her chest. 

She manages to nod. “I trust you.” And she does. This man who made her feel more in the short time she knew him than she had ever felt in her entire life. 

He hooks his thumbs into her breeches and peels them off of her, settling down in between her outstretched legs.

Her legs are arranged in the most wantonly way before him. They are trembling with the fear of the unknown. Ben stares slack jawed at her, hypnotized. The suspense is killing her.

“You’re so beautiful.” His breath ghosts over her bare cunt, making her shiver. He trails one finger through her seam, already drenched in her essence. His finger circles her clit, the faintest of pressures. 

“Tell me what feels good.” His voice is thick with emotion.

He applies direct pressure to her bud in steady circles, making her toes curl.

“That,” she replies breathlessly. “That feels _so_ good.” 

Rey lets out a whine when he removes his finger, but her eyes widen when she sees what he is about to do.

His hands wrap around her legs to hold her in place, and he lowers his mouth to lick a stripe up her cunt. 

The feeling is otherworldly.

She wiggles on her bed, hands scrunching in the sheets while Ben continues to blow her mind. 

He’s an enthusiastic lover, the tip of his tongue spelling secrets against her clit. 

Encouraged by her mindless whimpering, he moves one of his thick fingers to rub her entrance. He starts with shallow strokes, not wanting to hurt her. 

“That’s it, you’re being so good for me, you can take it.” 

As if she wasn’t completely drenched already, Ben’s praise is only adding to that.

It’s a tight fit, but she manages to take it. The stretch feels incredible, so different from her tiny fingers. 

He continues to kiss and lick at her clit while his finger pumps a steady rhythm inside her. 

“Can you be good and take another?” His voice is raspy with desire.

And oh how she wants to please him. She wants him so bad.

“Yes, _please,_ I can take it.” Her words sound like they’re coming out of someone else. 

As soon as his second finger joins the fray, Rey knows she’s done for. Her eyes roll to the back of her head. The stretch is absolutely delicious. Ben is hitting places inside of her that she had never been able to reach before. 

Her head flies back and forth babbling nonsense about how good he feels, which only makes him attack her with that much more enthusiasm.

Ben crooks his two fingers and sucks on her bud and she swears she sees stars.

“Ben, that—” she can’t take it anymore, “I—”

Her whole body tenses as she comes. Her back arches as the pleasure rolls through her. Her hands fly up to grab his hair when he continues to suck through her aftershocks, her core too sensitive. 

His head pops up to look at her from between her legs and _oh._ The sight of his face covered in her desire _does_ something to her. 

“Was that good?” he asks almost shyly.

How sweet of a question. It’s as if he didn’t just see her absolutely lose her mind at his actions.

Gripping his hair, she pulls him up to kiss him, not even minding tasting herself on him.

“More than good,” she whispers against his lips. “I want you.” Her hands find their way to his clothed erection. The feeling of how hot and hard he is in her hand only excites her even more. 

The grunt he releases at her touch would almost be funny if she wasn’t just as keyed up as him right now. 

He shuffles his breeches off in record time, throwing them blindly to the floor. Her mouth falls open as she looks upon Ben, naked as his name day. 

_Ser Ben Solo._ Her brave knight. His body must have been carved by the gods. Even after all this time spent with him, she’s not sure she’ll ever get over just how huge he is. His statuesque body looks gorgeous above her. 

Her eyes trail to the thatch of dark hair between his legs, his cock bobbing thick and hard against his stomach. 

She gulps. She has no idea how that’s meant to fit inside her, but she’s nothing if not determined. Ben made her feel so good and now she wants him to feel just the same. 

He bends down to kiss her, his length coming into contact with her core. She jumps a little at the sensation.

Ben cradles her face so lovingly, she thinks she might cry. “If at any point you want to stop, or if I hurt you, please tell me.” He looks so genuine, his eyes full of care. 

Rey could only nod, the anticipation rendering her silent. 

Ben lines himself up with her and slowly starts to push in. She wills her body to relax, to take him. Inch by inch he manages to fully seat himself inside her. Her breath catches in her throat. The feeling of fullness is foreign, but welcome. He’s being so cautious with her, but she needs more.

“Move Ben, please move,” she pleads. And of course her always receptive Ben listens to her. 

He pushes into her, building a slow but steady rhythm. She feels like she only exists at the point they are joined, all other sensations lost to her. Nothing was ever going to compare to this. Ben is staring into her eyes and she can _feel_ the emotion behind them. He feels the same way. _He has to._ He kisses her so tenderly, her lips chasing after his even when he pulls away. She buries her head in the crook of his neck, just to escape his burning gaze for a moment, losing herself in the pleasure. 

He straightens up and starts moving faster. Each grunt of pleasure urging her on. Huge hands rove all over her body. Squeezing her breasts, caressing her stomach, and gripping her legs. He just can’t get enough of her. 

Her hands find their way mindlessly sliding under her pillow, hitting something sharp. Breathing even harder now, she grips the handle of the knife she had stashed there earlier. 

In their moment of passion, she forgot all about her mission tonight. Their pleasure had consumed her every thought. 

They both are breathing heavily by now, Ben not letting up at all. She could do it. One quick stab to his heart. It would be over. Sweat starts to bead along his face, strands of his hair sticking to his skin. _Do it. End this._ The knife is heavy in her hand, hidden by the pillow. _Strike fast and true. Right through his ribs._ The words from her training echo in her head, bleeding into the sounds of Ben’s legs slapping against hers. With one final regrip of the handle, she starts to slide her hand from its hiding place. She looks into his eyes for the last time. Her hand freezes. 

Reflected back to her is a look she has never experienced before. It was like she was diving headfirst into the bottomless depths of his eyes. She could see he _cared_ for her. She could see he _wanted_ her. And she thought she could even see something _deeper_ there. Could it be? 

The beginning of tears begin to form in her eyes from her realizations. As if he could sense her emotions, he caresses her cheek so delicately. 

She could see the same emotions warring over his face, see the beginning of a word forming on his lips. She couldn’t hear what he was about to say. Not anymore.

“Ki—” He barely got the first syllable out.

“Rey,” she practically shouts. “My name’s Rey.” 

Confusion clouds his face for half a second before he’s overcome with the sensations of their coupling. 

“Rey,” he breathes, the name sounding so right in his deep voice. 

The tears are flowing freely down her face now.

She is overcome with love for him. The feeling is overwhelming. It fills every pore in her body. _Love._ Her body sang with it. To hell with the temple, to hell with the god of death. The only god she knew was Ben and he made her feel alive. 

She pulls him down to her and wraps her arms around him, greedy hands travelling the planes of his broad back. 

“Rey,” he utters like a prayer in her ear. “I’m close.”

He moves his fingers to strum her clit, begging her to finish with him. She moves her hands back to his hair, scraping his scalp. He shudders at her touch. Their whines of pleasure are swallowed into each other’s mouths in another searing kiss. 

Her release is like a dam breaking—waves of pleasure coursing through her entire body. Her cunt clenches on his pulsing cock, willing him to join her. He comes with her name on his lips. 

He collapses on top of her, crushing her body into the mattress, but she doesn't mind. The weight is comforting. A reminder that he is here in this moment with her. One that she would remember forever. 

He rolls off of her and immediately rubs the tear streaks on her face. His eyebrows are pinched in concern. “Did I hurt you?” 

Rey shakes her head and smiles. “They’re happy tears.” She turns her face to the side so she can kiss his palm. The resulting smile on his face is brilliant. He pulls her to rest her head on his chest, allowing them a moment to just bask in their newfound feelings. 

*

She must have dozed off because she wakes up to the sight of Ben crouched by the hearth, the beginnings of a fire getting started. She sits up and looks out the window. It’s still dark out so she must not have slept that long. 

Hearing her rustling, Ben turns around and stands up, his still naked body cast in a warm glow from the fire. 

“You started to feel cold, I thought you’d be more comfortable with a fire going.” He shuffles a little on his feet.

Her heart can’t take his thoughtfulness. 

“Why don’t you come over here and keep me warm then?” she counters, pleased to see her teasing nature is still intact.

Ben laughs and walks over to the bed, pulling her into his arms. He tilts her chin up towards him and kisses her with such affection. How different her life has become in such a short amount of time. Where once she was creeping around the city spying on him, she now could just take his face in her hands and kiss him if she so pleased. It was so easy to love Ben. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asks, still holding her in his arms. 

She knows he means the name thing. It’s so easy to feel courageous in his embrace. Ben trusted her in telling his story. She needs to be brave and tell him hers, her decision tonight affects him just as much as it does her. 

And so she tells him. She talks until the sun comes up. She tells him about her real parents and how they abandoned her on the streets of Braavos as a child. About the kindly man and the life he gave her. 

“That’s no life at all,” Ben grumbles, outraged for her. It felt good to have someone be angry for her. 

He had heard of the faceless men before, but was shocked to find out they were _actually_ real. And even more shocked to find out that someone wanted him dead. 

“It’s Snoke. It has to have been him.” He moves his jaw back and forth. “He’s the only one wealthy enough with a reason to want me dead.” 

She chews her lip. “Are you terribly mad at me?” She could hardly blame him if he was. 

But classic Ben, he just looks at her with love in his eyes. “No Rey, I could never be mad at you,” he says as if the idea was completely ludicrous. “I understand why you did it.” He looks pensive. “Actually, in a way you _saved_ me. You said if you didn’t take my name, someone else would’ve, right?” She nods. “Well it’s a good thing you fell for my dashing good looks then.” He tries to keep a straight face but his lips turn up at the corners.

She huffs a laugh, relieved that he doesn't hate her. “I did though, Ben.” Her voice is filled with fondness. “I did fall for you.” 

“I know.” 

She could cry with this turn of events. Ben knows her secrets and yet he still wants her. She had poured her heart out to him and he had accepted her completely. All she ever wanted in life, it was finally here. As long as she had Ben with her, anything was possible. 

“What are we going to do?” 

He strokes her hair, looking at her with such adoration. “We’ll figure it out. Don’t you worry.” 

Strong arms come to wrap around her body, pulling her tight against him. She was enveloped in his love and warmth. Safely tucked in the protective fortress of Ben. The future with her little garden suddenly seemed more likely by the second. He let her stay in his embrace for as long as she liked. 

*

They stayed together for as long as they could that morning, but eventually they had to part. As much as she wanted to spend the day tangled around his body, he had to go to work. She sent him on his way with a kiss and told him she’d make sure he got there safely. She wasn’t as confident to walk side by side with him out in the open just yet. 

“What, are you gonna hop from roof to roof following me around like some alley cat?” he laughs as he fastens his cloak. 

When she doesn’t respond, he turns to her, a sheepish expression painted on her features. 

He lowers his voice, “wait, you can do that?” 

Rey just laughs and brushes some fluff off his shoulder. “Wouldn’t you like to know,” she says, winking at his shocked expression. 

He finally leaves for work, but not before stealing one more kiss from her and giving her a lingering look.

Rey waits for a few moments before she starts after him. Ducking between streets and alleys while tailing him, making sure nobody tries to attack him. She even _did_ hop from roof to roof at one point, laughing to herself when she saw his head swivelling in all directions trying to find her. 

He managed to make it inside the bank in one piece to Rey’s relief. He told her he was working inside the building for the day, so she had some time to kill. 

She visited an apothecary, buying ingredients for tansy tea. Rey even managed to get a deal on the outrageous price of the mint leaves from the shopkeeper. She loved Ben, but she wasn’t ready to have his child. There were still many things to be done. Making her way back to her apartments, she brewed her tea and drank it with a generous helping of honey. 

The day was spent with her mostly in bed. The night had taken a toll on her emotionally and physically. It had felt good to let everything out to Ben. It felt even greater when he had told her he understood and accepted her unconditionally. 

She suddenly was restless with want for Ben. She jumped out of bed and started back to the bank. It was still early but she wanted to be as close to him as possible, to protect him. 

She stopped on a bridge overlooking the canal of heroes. The titan could be seen perfectly from here. She wouldn’t miss Braavos. The city was filled with ghosts she was all too eager to leave behind. 

Maybe they could travel to one of the other free cities. Tyrosh or Pentos. She’d have to ask Poe where he was sailing next. Maybe he’d take them with him. Rey was suddenly overcome with hope. She could do this. Her love for Ben was making her strong. The future was bright, full of possibilities. 

The sun poked through the clouds, rare for Braavos. _A sign._ Everything was going to be okay. The sun's rays blinded her for a second.

By the time she saw the knife, it was too late. 

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so maybe the trial of seven was based on dunk and egg


	5. Chapter 5

A twinkle of light in her peripheral vision may have very well just saved her life. Rey silently thanked the sun for making an appearance today, otherwise she wouldn’t have seen the glint of its rays hitting the edge of the dagger her assassin is thrusting towards her. 

Searing pain slices her upper right arm. She manages to spin out of reach of the assassin before her dagger pierces a more crucial part of Rey’s body. 

Warm trickles of blood were starting to run down her arm, but she pushed the uncomfortable sensation to the back of her mind. 

The attacker lunges at her again, dagger poised for the kill. Rey bats her wrist away with her left hand, and drives her right palm fast as lightning into the woman’s nose. The sickening crunch of the assassin’s nose is the last thing she hears before she steps backwards and feels her back come into contact with the bridge. Without hesitating, she rolls backwards off the bridge and plunges into the canal. 

Freezing cold water rushes up to meet her. Every instinct in her body tells her to kick up to the surface and draw in a deep gulp of air. But she can’t risk the assassin seeing her. It’s better to let her think she has drowned—sunk to the bottom of the canal like a bag of rocks. 

She surges forward under the water, staying low and swimming out of sight. Her lungs are starting to burn with the effort. One final push and she breaks the surface of the water, waves rippling around her. The initial intake of air is intoxicating. She treads water while she takes in her surroundings. She has foolishly found her way right into the Isle of the Gods, perilously close to the House of Black and White. 

There is no way she can go back there now. It’s clear that the temple had somehow found out about Ben—found out what they did and the secrets she told. Anger pulses through her. She’d kill them all if they harmed Ben. She has to get to him. 

There is no time to wallow in her anger though. The pain in her arm has numbed, but it’s still bleeding badly. She pulls herself out of the water and rips the shorn sleeve of her tunic off. Wrapping it around her wound is awkward, but she manages to pull it tight using her teeth and opposite hand. She splashes some canal water over the blood stains running down her arm and prays to whoever was listening that her wound wouldn’t get infected. 

Eyes turn to her as she stumbles through the streets. The blood loss has made her dizzy, knocking into people as she weaves through the crowds. She is on constant vigilance of those around her. Each person that she passes is a threat. Her eyes do not stop their surveillance even though they burn from the canal water. 

She’s hit with a shivering fit by the time she passes the Blue Lantern. Her body feels like it’s going into shock. 

_No. Keep moving. You need to find him._

The Iron Bank is so close, just a few more blocks. Wet footprints slap the ground with each step she takes. She hopes they were evaporating quickly. Her soaked body is already creating quite the scene, she doesn’t need to leave her attacker a clear-cut trail. 

She passes through an alley and stops to catch her breath. The close-set walls give her a moment of privacy. She stands doubled over and taking deep breaths as she tries to keep calm. 

The sound of footsteps shuffling behind her breaks her focus. In one single swoop, she swipes out the slim dagger she keeps in her boot and whips around to pin her attacker to the wall, dagger pointed at their neck. Except it wasn’t her attacker she has pinned to the wall.

“Rey, what the fuck.” It was the highest she has ever heard his voice go. Relief floods through her nonetheless. 

She slumps backwards, releasing him, immediately missing the heat his body provided. His strong arms come up under hers to steady her while he frantically takes inventory of her wet and bloodstained clothes.

“What happened?” She can feel the deep rumble in his chest at his question. 

“You found me,” she says instead of answering, her voice delirious as she cracks a smile at the absurdity of it all. 

He doesn’t find it funny. 

“You weren’t there when I left work. I thought you might’ve been walking along the harbour, so I came looking for you.” A shadow falls over his features as he lifts her arm for inspection. “I saw you stumbling down the street covered in blood.” 

_I’m okay,_ she wants to tell him. _You’re here and I’m in love with you and I’m okay._

The concern radiating off of him is going to make her heart burst. But they don’t have time for that. 

“We have to get out of here,” she tells him instead. 

Ben looks like he wants to argue but he takes one more look at her arm and thinks better of it. “We can go to my place, it’s closer.” Warm hands start to push her out of the alley. 

_“No,”_ she tries to put as much significance into the word without yelling. “They’ll be watching your house. I’ve got a room near Chequy Port, they don’t know about it.” 

His lips mash together, not liking the idea of her being in pain any longer than needed. Mind reluctantly made up, he nods his head. “Alright let’s go. But take this.” Thick fingers unfasten his cloak and throw it over her shoulders. It feels weird wearing it over her wet clothes, but it does keep her slightly warmer. 

And the fact that it smells like Ben doesn’t hurt.

Ben keeps a steadying hand on her back the entire way, hunched protectively over her like some oversized raven. She leads them through shortcuts and less populated streets, walking fast and staying alert. When they finally reach her room, she does one last scan of their surroundings before all but falling through her doorway. 

“There’s wine in the cupboard, a suture kit in the drawer,” she vaguely waves in their direction while she gets a fire started. 

Ben, bless him, follows her orders without a word. His concern for her is plastered on his handsome face as he shuffles through her things. A change of clothes is also procured along with clean strips of linen. 

As the wine is boiling, she lets him strip her of her wet clothes. She doesn’t _really_ need help with this part, but she isn’t going to complain about having his hands on her body. And if his hands linger on her skin for a second too long, nobody would have to know. 

Those delicate hands then start the process of removing her hastily tied bandage. Rey lets out a hiss of breath as the cloth peels off her wound, a fresh trickle of blood oozing from the site. 

“How’s the pain? Do you have any milk of the poppy stashed here?” He makes to move towards her cupboards, but she grabs his hand before he can get far. 

“No!” She swallows audibly, embarrassed at how loud she shouted. “I need to stay awake.” Her tone brokers no arguments. 

Ben looks so distraught as he takes a wet washcloth and cleans the remnants of blood from her arm. But the look on his face when he has to clean her wound with the boiling wine is painful to behold. Almost as painful as having said wine exposed to her cut. Rey clenches her teeth so hard she thinks they might snap off in her mouth. She knows the sound of her in pain would only hurt him, so she tries to keep it hidden. 

But being Ben, he obviously notices. “I’m sorry,” he whispers fiercely. It honestly looks like _he’s_ the one with the huge gash in their arm.

The pain of the wine almost completely numbs her arm, so she urges him to grab the sutures. 

“Have you ever stitched a wound before?”

He nods, looping the thread through the needle. “The maester at Alderaan showed me how when I was younger. It’s been a long time though.” 

She can work with that. “Okay. I trust you, Ben.” 

He bends his head and grumbles something that sounded an awful lot like, “at least one of us does,” as he continues to thread the needle. 

The first poke of the needle through her skin is unpleasant, but that entire area of her arm is burning so it’s hard to feel specifics. 

“Sorry,” he mutters.

For such a large man, he could be gentle when he needed to. His brows are furrowed and his lips are pursed in concentration. She feels another rough tug of the needle. 

“I’m sorry,” he murmurs once more.

Rey puts her good hand over his forearm, stilling his movements. 

“Ben.” A stern stare materializes on her face. “If you keep apologizing everytime you hurt me, we’ll be here until sunrise.” 

The look of actual anguish on his face makes her wince. 

“Hey, I know you don’t want to hurt me, but it has to be done.” Her voice is soft, reassuring. She rubs his forearm, his muscles flexing underneath her hand. “I can take it, I’m strong, remember? I dragged your weirwood ass out of that building.” 

Seeing his face light up at her joke almost makes her forget this whole mess of a situation they’ve found themselves in. 

“Fine, I’ll keep my mouth shut. But that doesn’t mean I’ll like it,” he acquiesces. 

_“I’ll_ like it. I’ve been trying to get you to shut up since I met you.” The amount of effort it takes not to laugh is substantial. “Finally some peace and quiet around here.”

Rey takes one look at his face, drawn long and serious, and promptly bursts out laughing. 

“Yeah laugh it up. I’m the one with the needle here, sunshine. Who knows what pattern I’ll stitch into here.” He repositions himself and starts on her arm again. “Maybe a nice big oyster.” He cocks his head to the side. “Or a self-portrait.” 

She lets him continue his work, her heart growing fonder with each stitch. 

With the stitch tied off, he wraps a fresh piece of linen to keep the wound clean, a huge breath of relief released from his mouth. 

He makes one final assessment to make sure the wrap is in place before he leans forward and captures her lips with his. The speed at which he moves takes her by surprise. Her good hand comes to rest against his jaw as he pulls her deeper into the kiss, making sure not to jostle her arm in the process.

And _wow._ It felt so good to kiss Ben. To feel the desperation in his kiss, the passion that he felt. Relief that she was okay—that he’s the one to take care of her. 

Ben pulls back and rests his forehead against hers. When he speaks, his voice is low and fervent. “Don’t ever scare me like that again.” His forehead rolls against hers as he lightly shakes his head back and forth. “I don’t even want to think about what,” he sucks in a sharp breath, “what could have h-happened.” 

Shivers rack her body, despite sitting next to the hearth. Her hand moves automatically from his jaw to his hair, brushing through it in a bid to soothe him. 

“I know, Ben. I know.” She can feel herself start to cry. “I’m okay though. I’m here. We’re both here.” A watery laugh escapes her mouth. “You can’t get rid of me that easily.” 

There’s a puff of laughter from him and then suddenly her world turns upside down.

“I love you, you know that?” he confesses, hand softly cupping her cheek. 

And it’s like everything clicks into place. The pain in her arm is nothing. The worry fades into nothingness. The only sight she can see is Ben. And he is blinding. 

A wobbly smile fights to stay on her face as she gives him a gift. One she’s not used to giving. 

“I love you too.” 

His answering smile is brilliant. It’s all she sees before he’s kissing her again. The love she feels is powerful and _raw._ She lets herself get lost in the feel of him for a precious few moments before reality hits her. 

Squaring her shoulders, she musters her most confident voice. Ben’s love for her is making her feel invincible. 

“We need to go visit a certain sailor.” 

*

“Oh you’ve got to be kidding me.” 

The Spotted Cellar was a dodgy establishment just on the outskirts of the Drowned Town. When Poe was staying in the city, she knew he liked to come here to bet on the eel fights. He liked to complain about how the fights were fixed whenever his eels lost, but Rey knew better. He just didn’t know his eels. 

That’s where they find Poe drinking with a few of his crewmates. He’s talking animatedly with them until he locks eyes with Rey, excusing himself from his companions to walk up to her. 

However, his steps falter and his eyes bug out of his head when he heard Ben speak.

He recovers smoothly. “Well hello to you too, Ben. How long has it been?” 

Ben grimaced. “Not long enough.” 

“Still have that Solo charm I see.” He claps a hand on Rey’s shoulder. “Kira, what are you doing running around with this wet blanket?” 

The most vivid shade of pink starts to bloom on Ben’s cheeks. As if he didn’t stand out already. The pure embarrassment radiating off of him is drawing too many looks for her comfort. 

“That’s actually what we were hoping to talk to you about,” Rey says, leaning in and whispering to him, “in private.” 

Poe gives one last conspiratorial look between the two of them, mischief shining in his eyes, and leads them to an empty gambling room. 

Rey starts talking before either of them could sneak in another jab. Obviously there’s history here. 

“So how do you two know each other?” she asks, purposefully pointing her question at Ben—but that doesn’t stop Poe from answering. 

“Oh, Benny and I go way back.” He stretches his legs and lifts his hands behind his head. The chair he has plopped down in squeaks from his movements. 

Ben makes no effort to sit down. He stands stock-still, clenching his fists. “Don’t call me that.” 

Rey’s surprised smoke isn’t coming out of his ears. 

She gently grasps his hand, coaxing him to take a seat. Even trying to sweeten the deal with a smile. 

“Oh, so it’s like that,” Poe comments, smugness personified. “I didn’t know you had it in you, Ben.” He gives his shoulder a little shrug. “I’m surprised you took your nose out of your books long enough to meet a girl before fainting from exhaustion.” 

“That was one time!” Ben sounds murderous. 

Poe turns his attention to Rey. “You should’ve seen him. He spent the entire day and night in the library, no meals and no sleep. The maester found him passed out against a stack of books.” 

“So he’s always been passionate about the things he loves?” She presses a peck to his cheek, making him turn even more red. But it seems to do the trick. He isn’t looking at Poe with murder in his eyes anymore. 

Poe’s voice is laced with mock disgust. “I just ate. Please don’t make me nauseous.” 

Rey rolls her eyes and pushes Ben into a chair, taking the seat next to him. 

“Poe’s mother worked in the castle. She was close with my mother. We practically grew up together.” Ben finally satiates her curiosity. 

“And while Ben chose the dull life of a knight, I chose the superior option of travelling the world,” Poe chuckles.

“Speaking of travelling,” Rey cuts in, sensing Ben about to flip the table. “We were wondering if you had any cabins available on your ship? We can pay you, or help out with duties.” Poe seems intrigued by this turn of conversation. “I know you said you were about to take off soon.”

“I am leaving soon,” he answers slowly. “I’ve got a shipment of red wines from Volantis that need to be delivered to the Arbor.” 

Rey’s heart skips a beat. _The Arbor._ That was in Westeros. Not too far from Alderaan. She and Ben exchange a glance. 

Unaware of her newfound hope, Poe continues chatting away. “We’re leaving in the early morning. I can never sleep the night before a trip. Too much excitement.” He leans forward, resting his elbows on the table. “What’s your hurry anyways? What’s got you itching for the salt breeze in your hair?” 

Before Rey can come up with a lie, Ben chimes in. 

“I want to go back to Alderaan,” he says, taking a deep breath in. “I want to see my mother.” 

It wasn’t a lie. Rey could sense he was telling the truth. 

Poe fixes him with a long stare, trying to find any insincerity in Ben’s answer. After a few moments he claps his hands and starts rubbing them together. 

“Alright. You two can come along. Now, you don’t have to pay me anything, but I could use some help loading the last of the crates onto the ship.” His sharp grin is back in full force. “It’s time to put that aurochs shaped body to use, Ben.”

As they all get up to leave, Ben bends down to whisper in her ear. 

“How mad would you be if I threw him overboard?” 

*

Night has fallen as they emerge from the Spotted Cellar and make their way down Ragman’s Harbour where Poe’s ship is docked. 

The reality of them leaving Braavos hits her all at once. She doesn’t even ask Ben if he wants to leave, completely uprooting his life. Although, she has a sneaking suspicion he’d rather leave and keep his life than stay and die. But still, the choice was his to make. 

There was that moment earlier though, when he was talking about his mother. Rey could feel the genuineness in his voice, see it in his face. Maybe he truly was happy to go back and resurrect his old life. 

_Just like I resurrected mine._

She was about to ask him if his mind is completely made up when she sees movement in the corner of her eye.

Years of training has prepared her to stay calm. Not to give away any signs of panic. 

Ever since they stepped out on the harbour, she had a sense they were being followed. Ben and Poe carried on walking, oblivious to the threat. 

Her heart is beating so fast she thinks it could wake the whole city up.

After the third time she sees movement, she pulls Ben to a stop. 

They’re standing beside the water, half hidden behind a stone statue. 

Rey pulls a slightly confused Ben down to her lips, kissing him sweetly before setting her forehead against his. 

“Don’t move,” she whispers. “Act like everything’s normal.” 

Poe, being too far ahead to hear them, utters a loud, “oh seven hells, get a room,” before skulking off and giving them a little privacy. 

To anyone watching them, they’d see two lovers embracing by the water, utterly lost to the world around them. 

“Rey, what’s wrong?” To his credit, Ben catches on quickly and manages to keep his voice low and calm. 

She nuzzles his cheek with her nose, her voice featherlight. “Someone’s been following us for a few blocks now.” She kisses his cheek. “You go on with Poe, I’m going to lead them away from you.” 

His whole body tenses at her words.

“Relax, Ben.” She caresses his cheek with the back of her fingers. “Don’t give us away.” 

With a thick swallow, he falls back into character. His arms wrap around her back tenderly.

“Please don't do this Rey. Let me help you. We can find another way.” 

“Promise me, Ben. If I’m not back by sunrise, leave without me. You won’t be safe here, go be with your mother.” Her breath is shaky. “Promise me.”

Ben’s mouth is moving back and forth, the words hard to form. “I can’t Rey, I can’t leave you. I love you.” 

She won’t cry. She has to be strong for him. Strong for what she is about to do. Oh, but how she wanted to.

“Marry me, Rey.” His grip on her back tightens. “I love you and I want you. Marry me. Tell me you’ll come back to me. Tell me you’ll be my wife.” He sucks in a shaky breath. “Rey. Be with me. Please.” 

She doesn’t even have to pretend anymore. The charade she’s been putting up for the stalker in the shadows is forgotten. The feeling of kissing Ben never gets old. Every moment their lips would touch was like the first. However, this kiss felt _different._

It’s like a clash of waves surging against each other—their teeth clacking together with the ferocity of it, tongues tangled in a desperate embrace. 

It’s cut short by Poe loudly clearing his throat and jerking his head impatiently.

“I can’t believe you’re leaving me with Poe,” Ben groans. It’s spoken so sullenly, so _Ben_ , that she has to laugh. 

“Only for a little while. Try not to hurt each other, please. For me.”

“Tell that to him,” he grumbles. 

She gives him one last sweet smile. “I’ll come back to you. I swear it.” 

His eyes search hers for a moment, so intense she shivers. It’s almost like he’s trying to memorize them. 

She pulls herself from his embrace before she loses her nerve.

“I’ll go grab your things from your place. You stay right here.” Her voice is raised, almost playful, trying to put on an act for their audience. 

Her eyes, however, are pained as she stares back at him. She gives him one last little nod before she turns on her heel. The last thing she sees is the worry written all over his beautiful face. 

*

Rey moves fast through the streets. Each step drawing her attacker farther away from Ben. 

_As long as he’s safe._

She knows she’s still being followed. The occasional scuffle of feet and hurried movements are loud in her experienced ears. The thought of the kindly man sending someone for her has definitely crossed her mind. Different scenarios had popped into her mind along with the many ways to solve them. 

Dying is not an option. She had just found Ben. It would be such a cruel fate to be separated from him. Now that she knew what life could be like, the thought of losing it all is gut wrenching.

As she turns the corner to a dead end, the sound of running is heard in the distance.

 _Now or never,_ she thinks. 

Rey leaps up and bounces from wall to wall until she reaches the roof of a building. Without looking back, she runs. 

She flies from rooftop to rooftop on powerful legs. She offers a silent apology to everyone she’s surely waking up. The sound of a second set of feet hitting the roofs makes her run even faster. The wind is whipping through her hair, adrenaline coursing through her veins. 

The row of buildings is coming to an end, the jumps becoming too large to leap. At the edge of the last building, Rey whips around and grabs the ledge of the roof, preparing to scale down. She catches the quickest glimpse of her attacker hot on her tail before she disappears down the building. 

There is no one on the streets this late. The clouds cover the stars, casting the city in complete darkness. The city blurs around her as she runs for her life. She runs past the bread shop she stole her first loaf from. She climbs the set of stairs she broke her toe falling down on. She even ducks into the alley the kindly man had dragged her into the first time she met him. It’s almost like some string is pulling her along, making her reminisce on her life here. Like some morose museum. She was getting her last glimpse of the only city she ever knew. 

After cutting through her tried and true shortcuts, she had gotten a good lead on the assassin. She spies Ben’s home in the distance, picking up her pace and rushing inside.

Everything is just the same as the last time she was here. Books strewn about, messy bed, and stray bits of parchment all around. 

She stands in the back, counting her breaths as she waits for whatever fate has planned for her. On her fifty-second breath, the door bursts open. 

She recognizes the woman—her sister in the temple. They had sat in many meetings together, drinking and promising gifts. She wondered what her past self would think about the situation she found herself in today.

“The Many-Faced God was promised a name,” the woman speaks emotionlessly.

“He was,” Rey replies.

The woman takes a step closer. “And now he’s been promised another.” 

_Not if I can help it._

“I’m sorry,” Rey whispers before she charges. 

Rey had lured her into Ben's apartment on purpose. She doesn’t like to fight out in the open. She has always excelled at close quarter fighting. 

They had exchanged blow after blow, block after block before they both reached for their daggers. The assassin's dagger had already gotten a taste of Rey’s blood, it was only fair to repay the favour. 

Ben’s apartment is a mess. They had been fighting for some time now. Both women were breathing heavily. 

The assassin lunges at Rey, grabbing her in a headlock with one arm, and trying to stab her with the other. All Rey can do is push the arm holding the dagger away from her as hard as she can. She’s so tired, her sweat slicked skin is making it hard to grip anything. But she has to keep going. She has to for Ben. 

_Ben._

Her pulse spikes. She’d recognize that lumbering gait of his anywhere. 

_What is he doing here?_

She told him to stay away. But of course he didn’t listen. Her foolish, selfless, brave Ben. 

His steps are getting closer, he was about to walk through the doorway. This was it. 

She doesn’t even look up at him when he appears. 

_But the assassin does._

She was too caught up in trying to keep Rey still, that she hadn’t heard someone else approach. 

The woman’s head whips up at Ben’s startled gasp, the distraction is all that Rey needed. 

Rey drops her dagger from her grasp, spinning out of the assassin's hold, before grabbing it midair and shoving it right through her heart. 

She was dead before she even knew what had happened. 

Rey set the assassin on the floor and gingerly removed the woman’s tunic before any blood seeped through it. She stared at her laying there in her smallclothes for a moment, building up the nerve to turn around. 

Finally, she turns to Ben, fear coursing through her. 

_What if he’s changed his mind about me?_

She doesn’t know how he would feel about her killing someone in front of him. He had accepted her when she told him about being a faceless assassin, but it was a whole different thing actually witnessing it in action. 

Her fears are thrown away though, when he crosses the room in two strides and holds her in his arms. 

“I thought I told you to stay put,” she admonishes, her voice muffled into his chest. 

Warm hands come up to hold her head in place against his beating heart. “Nothing will ever keep me parted from you.”

She doesn’t know how long they stand there like that. It could’ve been minutes or hours. But she knew it wasn’t as long as she would have liked. After all, there were still things to be done.

*

When she put on the assassin’s face, the first thing she felt was anger. The woman was filled with vicious thoughts and memories. 

The second thing she felt was the broken nose she had given her earlier in the day. She may have smirked at the thought.

“Okay this is already weird enough, please don’t make faces like that.” 

Ben had stayed with her as she peeled the woman’s face off and used the magic she was taught all those years ago to place it over her own. 

He’s taking it a lot better than she thought he would. She supposes the relief of finding her alive had made him brave. 

“Does that hurt?” he asks when her face vanished, replaced with the sharp featured one of the assassin’s. 

His long fingers prod the skin of her cheek, like he’s checking if it was still Rey under there. She slaps them away. 

“No. It’s unpleasant, but not painful.” She starts to pull off her boots. “Help me with these clothes.” 

Rey swaps her clothes with the woman’s, Ben adorably trying not to catch a glimpse of any of her skin. 

A truly horrible thought suddenly crosses his mind. “Could you ever wear _my_ face?” 

Rey snorts. “Yes, but I like your face where it’s currently placed.” Her unfamiliar hand comes up to pat him on his cheek. 

The strange touch makes him shiver, only making her snort even more. It hurt through the woman’s broken nose. 

With Ben’s help, they tied the woman’s body down with weights and pushed her into the canal. There was nothing honourable about it. 

But for Ben, she’d do a lot worse. 

She left him at his home, giving him strict instructions _not_ to leave this time—to trust her when she told him she needed to do this alone. 

The fact that she was scolding him wearing another woman’s face definitely helped to scare him into obedience. 

She had spent enough time around this assassin to learn the way she carried herself. She strolled into the House of Black and White like she owned the place—shoulders straight and features haughty. 

This was just like any other assignment she took. One more identity to take. She could do this. 

She met the kindly man by the main pool. 

“And?” He prompts, voice serene. 

“Dead. Sunk to the bottom of the canal.” Her face betrays no emotion under his scrutinizing stare.

 _Believe me, believe me, believe me._

“And the man named Ben Solo?”

She meets his gaze. “Right beside her.”

 _It’s true, believe me, it’s true._

“Shame.” The kindly man looks her up and down. “The girl was special.” 

And if he notices the hastily sewn hole right by her heart, he doesn’t say anything. 

“Valar morghulis,” she offers. 

“Valar dohaeris,” he returns.

Bright blue eyes connect with hers for the last time. Eyes she’s stared into her entire life. The man who trained her, molded her into the person she is today. 

He nods.

“Just so.” 

*

The first steps she takes down the stairs of the temple are liberating. She had done it. She had gotten out. 

She waits until she has gotten far enough away from the temple before swiping her hand down her features, removing the other woman’s face. She was still being cautious. Rey wasn’t completely sure the kindly man bought the tale she spun, wasn’t sure he didn’t recognize her. But it was clear that he had no intention to harm her. 

The sky decided now was the perfect time to open up into a heavy downpour, but Rey didn’t care. She tilted her head up and let the rain cleanse her face. 

_Her_ face. 

Rain fell on _her_ freckles. Hit _her_ hazel eyes. Wet _her_ pink mouth. 

Rey never had to conceal her face again. Never had to take on another identity. Never had to take another name. She was _Rey._ She was giddy with the feeling. A laugh choked out of her, her face breaking out into the biggest grin. She spun and twirled, arms outstretched, tongue catching the droplets. 

She was _free,_ finally free. Her life was just beginning. 

Rey stood beneath the clouds for a moment longer. 

The rain had never felt so good. 

*

Ben, surprisingly, listened to her and didn’t leave his home. He nearly knocked her over when she entered the room and proceeded to crush her into a hug. 

They quickly packed up all the possessions he wished to bring with him on their journey. When he offered to stop by any of her rooms to pick up anything she wanted to take, she just shook her head. 

“I have everything I need right here,” she had told him. And it was the truth. 

They raced back to Ragman’s Harbour without a second to spare. Poe was frantic, pacing the deck while muttering to himself. 

He stopped and marched straight to them when they stepped on board. 

“I know I told you two to get a room last night, but _really._ I didn’t think you’d go and disappear on me all night.” 

Rey just caught Ben’s eye and smiled. A gesture he was all too eager to return. 

True to his word, Poe managed to set out right at sunrise. The rain had stopped and the horizon was painted in the most beautiful golden light. The sight, however, was no match for the man who was currently beside her. 

He had one arm around her as they stood at the bow, staring at the vast amount of water ahead of them. The future was full of possibilities. 

Behind them, the titan roared, looking like a tiny speck of metal in the distance.

Rey looped one arm around him as he lifted her face towards his. “You never did answer me.” 

She peers up at him curiously. 

“Will you marry me, Rey?” 

“Nothing would make me happier. Yes, Ben.” 

His smile is brighter than any sunrise, Rey’s favourite dimple on full display. 

They had done it. Their love had set her free. She looked at her beautiful Ben beside her, heart filled with love. Ben, the man who quickly became her family. The one who _wanted_ her, the one who _cared_ for her. The belonging she sought. 

_So this is what it feels like to be loved._

Their lips met as the sun rose on the first day of the rest of their lives. 

***

  
  


On the fringes of Alderaan, a little cottage stands nestled amongst the trees. A ginger cat strolls through a garden filled to the brim with greenery. A breeze flies by, carrying the scent of lavender plants through the air. 

At the back of the cottage, a septon wraps a ribbon around the clasped hands of two people very much in love. 

Their overlapped voices ring out through the trees. 

“I am hers.”

“I am his.”

“And she is mine.”

“And he is mine.”

  
  


It seemed that there was one more name Rey was willing to take. 

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this was the first fic I’ve ever written!! I know it’s not perfect but it can only get better from here, right? Lmao
> 
> I just want to say I appreciate everybody who read it/gave kudos. I honestly never even expected more than 10 hits. So thanks for taking a chance on it.


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